personal thresholds

30. July 2010 · 2 comments · Categories: Marriage, motherhood · Tags: , , ,

After my Done!?. post the other day Becky and some others mentioned that sometimes there are some valid reasons to feel done.

Like I said, there are times when it’s totally ok to feel done for that moment. If I took a pregnancy test today and saw 2 lines I’d probably freak out a little bit and cry because my baby is still my baby and I can’t see how I could possibly give anymore. But, I also know that God’s plans are infinitely wiser than mine and somehow I’d get through it and still find joy in it.

But it got me thinking on another thought that I’ve had about personal thresholds. Everyone has their own pain thresholds, some can take more pain without crying than others and some situations are easier to handle than others. I can birth babies without pain medication but you don’t want to be around me after I stub a toe or get a hang nail.

I think it’s the same with kids. It seems to me that some moms are better equipped emotionally and psychologically and mentally to handle more children than others. For me, I was very happy and incredibly comfortable with 2. Life was good then. I felt in control and like I knew what I was doing. I felt like ‘a good mom’. Perhaps I was a little too overconfident and that’s what lead to me thinking a 3rd wouldn’t be such a hard thing.

I love our little baby so much. But I miss having just 2. But I wouldn’t want to not have three either so it’s a weird place to be in. But I’ve found that 3 is my current personal threshold for children. My husband and I both feel that there are still maybe 1-2 ’missing’ but for now I feel like I have reached the limit of what I can and can’t handle. Whereas I see other moms reaching their limits at 1 or 2 and then others at 6 or 7 …or 10… :)  

It’s late and I’m not sure I’m getting my thoughts out all the way right but I hope you all know what I’m trying to say. Basically it’s good to be “open to God’s Will” but it’s also true and ok to realize what our own limitations are. What we can’t handle now, we may be able to later and “…we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.”

And just because God blesses one family with 10 children doesn’t mean a family of 1 or 2 or 3 or 4 is any less blest. And it doesn’t mean that the couple with 10 will be any more holy than the couple with 4.


Small Successes Thursday, July 29

29. July 2010 · 4 comments · Categories: Around the House, motherhood, Small Successes · Tags:

It’s been a lonnng week so I’ll try to narrow it down.

1. Caught the upstairs toilet leak in time to stop it from flooding the whole house.

2. Found a way to make the above disaster fun by having fun with the kids and the huge water restoration fans.

3. Cooked some pretty yummy dinners and made lunch for my daughter everyday so far (while she’s at a church camp)

Ok, your turn to brag!


NFP: yup there’s an App for it

28. July 2010 · 5 comments · Categories: faith, Marriage, motherhood, Random · Tags: ,

For the geeky NFPer:

NFP Charting App

iPhone Screenshot 2


Done!?.

27. July 2010 · 8 comments · Categories: faith, Marriage, motherhood · Tags: , , , , ,

In honor of Natural Family Planning Week, I’m hoping to devote a few posts this week to the subject. We’ll see how it goes but here’s one at least for now.

My friend Danielle recently talked about THE question every parent gets asked the most, usually around the time of the birth of a new child…

”Are you done?”

Like she said, that’s probably the worst and most annoying question anyone could ask especially so soon after a baby’s born. I really do hate it. Who am I to know that? Who am I to tell God when we’re done accepting children from Him? There are certainly times when I hope he doesn’t think I’m capable of having more but who am I to make that decision without consulting with the Big Guy first? We believe God designed our bodies in truly remarkable ways and are thankful for the knowledge we’ve been given so we can understand the natural y cycles of my fertility. We believe this is a way for my husband and me to share in the decision with God concerning children.

Of course everyone knows Catholics are opposed to any type of contraceptive method (including barrier methods) to prevent pregnancy. But I don’t see why you’d have to be a Catholic to see how a condom or ‘magic’ pill becomes more than a physical barrier in a marital relationship. Duh. And even if I wasn’t Catholic or if I was a Catholyc (as Thomas Peters likes to say) I’d still never dream of swallowing or injecting or implanting any foreign object or hormonally-loaded synthetic substance into my body.

Aside from all that though…what if we were done? What if this was it? In an effort to always portray ourselves as open to God’s will (as we are), I’ve almost taken it for granted that we would have more than 3..some of our family members are pretty sure we’ll have about 16 or 17. But who are we to assume we’ll have any more? In a way it might be good to learn to be ok with being done.

 If this is it, then that would mean our baby now would be the last one. This would have been the last time I’d ever carry a baby in my body. The last time I’d gotten to give birth. The last time I’d get to nurse. It would be the last time I’d get to hear a baby of ours coo, gurgle, or cry; or watch our baby smile while sleeping. It would be the last time we’d get to smell our baby’s anointed head after baptism.  The last time I’d have to get up in the middle of the night and get to cuddle with my baby or take time out during the day to play or just sit with my baby. The last time we’d watch a baby of ours learn to scoot, roll, sit-up, crawl, and walk and talk.

 If we had no expectations about having more maybe I’d enjoy these precious moments with our young children now more, instead of assuming we’d have more after these and always looking ahead for the next one to enjoy. I hope we are not “done”. I’m sure maybe I’ll laugh at this post one day when we’re surrounded by those 16 or 17 kids. But for now, I’m content and grateful for the 3 wonderful blessings we do have.


Lemon Garlic Breaded Chicken & Couscous

27. July 2010 · Write a comment · Categories: Food · Tags: ,

Lemon Garlic Breaded Chicken & Couscous

Cut chicken breasts in half and pound them to thin them

Squeeze some lemon juice over them

Dip them in egg (with some salt)

Then coat them in flour/matzo meal salt & pepper mixture

Warm up some butter and minced garlic in a pan

Then brown and cook the chicken in the pan on each side

If you want you can squeeze some more lemon while they cook

Serve with couscous or spaghetti or even with potatoes or whatever!


on naps….

23. July 2010 · 3 comments · Categories: motherhood · Tags: ,

Dear baby,

Apparently you forgot to read the chapter in your book about nap-time. So let me explain.

During the day, when you are grumpy and tired,I’ll nurse you and then I (or daddy or a grandparent or friend or any willing person really) will take you to your bed, lay you down, and pat your bum. All you have to do is close your eyes and go to sleep. When I get up to go out of the room you don’t need to wake up again and look for me.

When I go downstairs to make food for your siblings (yes they get hungry too), you don’t need to wake up. 

If I want to spend some time with them while you sleep, maybe read a story or play or just sit with them, you don’t need to wake up. You just stay on your bed, with your eyes closed, and dream about mama and her delicious milk until you are all rested (no, 10-20 minutes does NOT count!). 

After you’ve rested nicely, then you can wake up and I’ll come get you. Oh and you should always greet me when I return with a huge cute baby smile and remain content and cute (on or off my hip) until your next nursing or nap time.

Yours dearly,

Mama


Small Successes Thursday, July 22

22. July 2010 · Write a comment · Categories: motherhood, Small Successes · Tags: , , , ,

1. Made maybe my best burgers ever (which may not be saying much but I’m still proud of them)

2. Remembered to FINALLY leave out the bags for the AmVets!

3. Bought all our school supplies (Target had the BEST deals! and i did some shopping around before going there… all the folders were only$.15 and other deals in the Back to School section)

Rock on with other Moms and Faith and Family Live


Chicken Salad YUM!

20. July 2010 · 1 comment · Categories: Food · Tags: ,

Chicken Salad

I LOVE Chicken Salad. That and Broccoli Salad are a guaranteed YUM for me every time. I could eat it for breakfast, mid-morning snack, lunch, mid-afternnoon snack, dinner, or before-bed snack. I love it in a croissant, or lumped between slices of whole-grain bread. Focaccia bread. Over butter-leaf lettuce or alfalfa sprouts (pictured above).  

How do you like to eat your chicken salad?


The evil little box

17. July 2010 · 4 comments · Categories: Around the House · Tags: , ,

Brown recluse spiders have invaded our home.

At first they stayed in the basement and so it wasn’t so bad.

But then, they came up. They came up to our living room and surprised us while we played on the floor. That made us very uncomfortable and we said we really needed to do something about it.

But when one crept out of my bathroom sink and then little baby ones were spotted crawling around where my baby sleeps, that was it.

We’d heard a lot of great things about ultrasonic bug repellers. So we figured we’d try that before seeking other more drastic measures.

So we got this black box…supposed to ‘silently’ repel the bugs away with ultrasonic waves.

 oh. my. goodness.

The noise that that came from this thing was THE worst noise I’ve ever heard in my entire life. You think those World Cup vuvuzelas are bad. No. This. This is worse.

As soon as I heard it my head began throbbing. It’s not loud, it’s not quiet. It’s just like a bunch of those tree bugs but on a much more annoying scale.

We had hid it down in the basement because there was absolutely no freakin’ way I’d be able to live with it upstairs.

So Iwent down there to watch some TV and chill while hopefully getting the baby to sleep. I opened the basement door and started walking down and felt like I was walking through a typical Kansas windstorm. But there was no wind. It was just…the  NOISE.

But I had to turn it off. So I kept pushing through it…must….turn…it…off!

Gasping for air I finally made it to the box. There was no off switch. It had to be unplugged and the plug was burried under a bunch of storage junk (thanks darling!). Feeling like my head would explode at any minute I started wading through it and finally pulled it out.

I ran out of the room and slammed the door and then snuggled with my baby on the couch and wasted my brain with some good ol’ TV.

I had dreams that night…scary nightmares about the evil black box growing spider legs and crawling upstairs and to our bedroom and onto the bed and infecting me with its poisonous venom. I woke up and did a full body check for spiders and any spider bites.  

I found out later that we should have bought these: Black & Decker EW406-5P Ultrasonic Pest Repeller, White. Hopefully these will not make any type of sound.


Small Successes Thursday July 15

15. July 2010 · 2 comments · Categories: Around the House, motherhood, Small Successes · Tags: , ,

1. Enrolled my daughter for 1st grade. (without any tears this year, we’ll see how the first day of school goes.

These next successes belong to my husband but I don’t brag about him enough so now I’m going to:

2. Took out the old ugly brass exterior light fixtures and replaced them with the new ones we bought about a year and a half ago. Now all our exterior light fixtures match!

3. I dusted off all the cobwebs from the front porch and then my husband scrubbed (with soap!) the siding and shutters and it looks like it got a new paint job! I was so proud of him and thankful!

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