After my Done!?. post the other day Becky and some others mentioned that sometimes there are some valid reasons to feel done.
Like I said, there are times when it’s totally ok to feel done for that moment. If I took a pregnancy test today and saw 2 lines I’d probably freak out a little bit and cry because my baby is still my baby and I can’t see how I could possibly give anymore. But, I also know that God’s plans are infinitely wiser than mine and somehow I’d get through it and still find joy in it.
But it got me thinking on another thought that I’ve had about personal thresholds. Everyone has their own pain thresholds, some can take more pain without crying than others and some situations are easier to handle than others. I can birth babies without pain medication but you don’t want to be around me after I stub a toe or get a hang nail.
I think it’s the same with kids. It seems to me that some moms are better equipped emotionally and psychologically and mentally to handle more children than others. For me, I was very happy and incredibly comfortable with 2. Life was good then. I felt in control and like I knew what I was doing. I felt like ‘a good mom’. Perhaps I was a little too overconfident and that’s what lead to me thinking a 3rd wouldn’t be such a hard thing.
I love our little baby so much. But I miss having just 2. But I wouldn’t want to not have three either so it’s a weird place to be in. But I’ve found that 3 is my current personal threshold for children. My husband and I both feel that there are still maybe 1-2 ’missing’ but for now I feel like I have reached the limit of what I can and can’t handle. Whereas I see other moms reaching their limits at 1 or 2 and then others at 6 or 7 …or 10…
It’s late and I’m not sure I’m getting my thoughts out all the way right but I hope you all know what I’m trying to say. Basically it’s good to be “open to God’s Will” but it’s also true and ok to realize what our own limitations are. What we can’t handle now, we may be able to later and “…we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.”
And just because God blesses one family with 10 children doesn’t mean a family of 1 or 2 or 3 or 4 is any less blest. And it doesn’t mean that the couple with 10 will be any more holy than the couple with 4.