Listmania: NFP

30. July 2011 · 3 comments · Categories: faith, Listmania · Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

If you haven’t noticed, I’m a big fan of Natural Family Planning. For this reason, and because this is National NFP Awareness Week , I’ve blogged about what the Catholic Church teaches about marriage and sex and contraception here and here. Last year I rambled about why I hate the ever-popular horribly-annoying question “Are you done?” (Update 7/31: oops, I forgot the one about how NFP works even with it doesn’t and how to share the gift of NFP with L.O.V.E)

Since I already shared what the Church says about it all, tonight I intend to share a list of reasons why I like NFP and why my husband and I choose this tool to achieve pregnancy or postpone pregnancy. Before I do though I want to be upfront about why I share information about NFP. First, I’ll say that I share it not because I want to put myself or my husband or my marriage above others in a self-righteous way. Admittedly, I can look back at my past and see that this was a subconscious reason in the past but has never been my first intention, more like an unintentional side affect of wanting to share the truth while also trying to live it. That said, I realize that there will always be someone who perceives what I say or share (on this subject as well as others) as “offensive” or “judgemental” or “self-righteous” or “uncompassionate”. I apoligize if what I say causes you pain but I will not apologize for sharing the truth. My hope and goal is not to hurt; on the contrary- it is to bring comfort by offering a solution and an answer that in the end will bring life; not death, hope; not despair and love; not hate.

So without further ado, my list of why I like NFP:

1. It is natural–it goes along with the way my body was made and naturally designed to work.

2. It is REAL–no drugs, no new-fangled contraptions, just the good old fashioned way.

3. It’s amazing–when I first learned about my body’s fertile and infertile cycles I was completely amazed and thought to myself–”Wow, I am “beautifully and wonderfully made”!

4. I love nature (like #1). I appreciate it and I respect it. To me, nature–science and math precisely–is God’s language–it’s how He explains Himself, the world, and me and you. While I appreciate the Church’s teachings on marriage and contraception and sex and all that, I only need to look to nature–to biology–to see the truth about sex and contraception. STDs, male and female reproductive issues, sexual reproductive organ cancers (and even some not-really-sexual reproductive body part cancers)—these are God’s way of speaking to us and warning us through nature about the consequences of non-monogamous, promiscuous, and illicit sexual relationships and using contraceptive devices in and out of marriage. (Nature also has some big lessons to teach us when it comes to the unethical infertility methods out there.) On the flip side, there’s something to say about the simple beauty of a random field of wildflowers or a lone cucumber plant growing unexpectedly in a compost box instead of the time and location it was ‘supposed to’ grow in.

5. It is self-giving and therefore self-less. (That said, those who practice NFP must keep a good checks and balances system in place to avoid using NFP in a selfish way.)

6. It provokes ”interesting” and “unique” conversations. Hey if I can talk to my husband about how stretchy or non stretchy my mucus is I should be able to talk to him about anything, right?

7. It fosters laughter–probably another one of those “most important things to have lots of” in a marriage. Aside from prayer and stuff.

8. Speaking of prayer–relying on NFP in our marriage cultivates a good prayer life. On a fairly regular basis we have to pause and think and pray before making any “heat of the moment” decisions. Or, when we (ahem)…don’t pause and think first, we have to pray that God will give us strength to humbly accept whatever those consequences blessings from that may be.

9. It is respectful. Using NFP makes me take a step back and re-look at my husband. It makes me see him as God made him and see him as the man who I chose to love, honor and cherish. It also makes me take a closer look at myself. Unlike what the ‘world’ tells me, I’m not just some ‘body’, I am a woman, I am a wife, I am a mother and I am greatly loved by my husband. And together, NFP helps us step back and look at God and what He wants for us and for our marriage and family. We don’t tell him to ”stay out of the bedroom”, we invite Him to participate–too converse with us in all parts of our life, especially the most intimate ones.

10. NFP is Love-giving and Life-giving. NFP is awesome, it’s beautiful, it can and does work—but it is also hard. It is a sacrifice. As interesting to me as mucus is, I’d rather sometimes not have to remember to check every time, every day. I’d also rather not have to take time to write down what I observe or mess with deciding whether to put on the slightly sticky-looking mucus sticker or the drool-string-like mucus sticker. And I always feel a bit funny about the baby stickers–though it does serve as a good visual reminder for my husband and me about what this is all about—Life.

Using NFP correctly gives my husband and I a way to work with God, through my natural cycles, in the amazing miracle of creating a new life. Three times now, we have been honored and humbled to conceive life. When I look into my daughter’s and sons’s eyes, I remember the love my husband and I share together with God and see it there in front me in human form.

That said, I know that there could come a time when we cannot conceive any more lives within us. We might follow all the “rules” and do everything “right” and yet still bare no more fruit. Who knows, we could be “done” with our precious three now. This would be a very difficult cross to bear. Especially since I “know” so much about NFP and about infertility. It would be frustrating if we tried everything–ate all right food and said no to the wrong ones, excercised enough but not too much and cut down on stress, bought a fertility monitor to use in conjuction with NFP or even worked with the specialists trained in NaPro technology–and still could not conceive another child. It would be painful. I would know that I should be happy to have the three that we do–especially since some have been trying longer than I though have yet to be blessed with even one or, if they were, sadly lost their baby or babies in pregnancy or birth or after birth. My heart cries deeply for these women and men, it is a pain I know I could never fully understand, yet it does not stop me from caring for them; for hoping for them; for praying for them.

Fertility is a gift. Not everyone is blessed with it and some seem to have more than enough to spare. One thing that all married couples can have is their love–that is always there and available for those who choose it. Even those who are ‘infertile’ can have a ‘fertile’ marriage. This may not translate into biological children or even any children. Marriage, and the marital act, are made to be love-giving and life-giving, yes. But even when it cannot be ‘life-giving’ for indeliberate reasons, it can still be love-giving.

Natural Family Planning is a wonderful tool for communicating and understanding sex and life in marriage. But its benefit–its “product”– goes beyond the charts–beyond the mucus stickers and baby stickers and sun and moon symbols–beyond even sex—to a deeper place where it implants itself deep into our souls where it grows and develops and impregnates us with love, and life and God.

 


Continued Humanae Vitae; Sex, Life and Artificial Birth Regulation

30. July 2011 · Write a comment · Categories: faith, Marriage · Tags: , , ,

Continued from Monday’s post, here are the rest of the the parts I highlighed while reading Humanae Vitae; Encyclical Letter of His Holiness Pope Paul VI.

Continued from Serious Consequences of Using Artificial Birth Regulation

-Consequently, if one does not want to see the mission of generating life exposed to the arbitrary decisions of men, one must of necessity recognize certain absolute limits to the possibility of a human beings’ dominion over his or her body and its functions, limits that no one, whether a private individual or someone invested with authority has any right to exceed. And such limits cannot be determined except by the respect owed to the integrity of the human organism* [*to the whole human body]…

The Church, Guarantor of Authentic Human Values

- One can foresee that this teaching will perhaps not be easily received by all: too numerous are the voices – amplified by today’s communications media – which disagree with the voice of the Church…yet she does not, because of this, cease to proclaim with humble firmness the entire moral law, both the natural law and the law of the Gospel. The Church was not the author of the moral law and therefore cannot be its arbiter; she is only its depository and its interpreter, and can never declare to be permissible that which is not so by reason of its intimate and unchangeable opposition to the true good of man.

III. Pastoral Directives

Possibility of Observing the Divine Law

- The teaching of the Church on birth regulation, which is a promulgation of the diving law, will easily appear to many to be difficult or even impossible to put into practice. And certainly, like all great and beneficial realities, it calls for serious commitment and many efforts on the part of individuals, of families and of society. Moreover, it would not be livable without the help of God, who supports and strengthens the good will of men.

Mastery of Self

- A proper practice of birth regulation requires first and foremost that a husband and wife acquire and possess solid convictions about the authentic values of life and of the family, and that they tend to the achievement of perfect self-mastery.

Creating an Environment Favorable to Chastity

- Whatever in the communications media today leads to overstimulation of the senses, to the loosening of morals, as well as every form of pornography and licentious performance, must provoke the open and unanimous reactions of all person who are deeply concerned about the progress of civilization and the defense of the highest values of the human spirit. It is futile to allege artistic or scientific needs as justification for such depravity, or to deduce an argument in their favor from the freedom allowed in this sector by public authorities.

Appeal to Public Authorities

- To those who govern in civil society and who are principally responsible for the common good, and can do so much to safeguard morality…

- We are well aware of the serious difficulties experienced by public authorities in this regard, especially in developing countries…”These difficulties are not to be overcome by having recourse to methods and means that are unworthy of man and that are based solely on a purely materialistic concept of man himself and of his life. The true solution is found only in economic development and social progress that respects and promote authentic individual and social human values.”

To Men of Science

- We now wish to express our encouragement to men of science, who “can contribute much for the benefit of marriage and the family and for the peace of consciences, if by uniting their effort they seek to shed more light on the various conditions that make possible a proper regulation of human procreation.”

Apostolate of Couples

- Among the fruits that result from a generous effort of fidelity to the divine law, one of the most precious is that married couples themselves not infrequently feel the desire to communicate their experience to others. Thus a new and most noteworthy from of the apostolate of like-to-like comes to be included in the vast field of the vocation of the laity: it is married couples themselves who become apostles and guides to other married couples. Among so many forms of apostolate, this is assuredly one of those that seem more opportune today.

To Priests

- We now turn to you with confidence. Your first task – especially in the case of those who teach moral theology – is to expound without ambiguity the Church’s teaching on marriage. Be the first to give, in the exercise of your ministry, the example of loyal internal and external submission the Magisterium of the Church…

- But this must ever be accompanied by patience and goodness, such as the Lord himself gave the example of in dealing with men. Having come not to condemn but to save he was indeed intransigent with evil, but merciful toward individuals.


Cutting debt, broccoli and fabric.

28. July 2011 · 6 comments · Categories: Small Successes

1. Paid off one of our cars! Now at we just have one car payment! (which we also cut down on by recently trading our more expensive SVU for a lesser van that we actually like better)

2. Paid off my last student loan! It feels good to ‘increase’ our revenue by decreasing our debt and monitoring our spending better. (Yes, this can be done without raising the debt ceiling credit card limits. Actually we don’t have any credit cards anyway.)

3. Bought broccoli and chopped it all up and put away in snack-size baggies before it went bad.

4. Finally ironed out some material I bought months ago for my next sewing project.

5. Set up my sewing table and cleaned the sewing room. Now I can start cutting and sewing!

Share your small successes at Chocolate For Your Brain!


Wordless

27. July 2011 · Write a comment · Categories: wordless

 


Summer Strawberry Salad

26. July 2011 · 1 comment · Categories: Food · Tags: ,

The next recipe in the Summer Salad Series by Martha is a fresh Strawberry Salad; strawberries hidden in a bed of mixed greens, sprinkled with almond slices and dressed up with a rich and sweet olive oil/balsamic vinegar dressing.

Ingredients:

  • ½ cup red onions finely chopped*
  • 1 package of fresh strawberries cut in pieces*
  • 1 package of mixed greens

Sliced almonds optional

Dressing:

  • 1 tablespoon brown sugar
  • 2 tablespoons olive oil
  • 1 tablespoon Balsamic vinegar

Mix it all

Combine strawberries, onion and mixed greens, toss with salad dressing.

* use as much as you want

Optional dressing: poppy seed salad dressing.


Humanae Vitae; Sex, Life & Contraception

25. July 2011 · Write a comment · Categories: faith · Tags: ,

43 years ago, on July 25, 1968 Pope John Paul VI gave the world a great gift–Humane Vitae- the Encyclical Letter about Marriage, Sex, Contraception and Life. I read it a few months ago and thought today, the anniversary, would be a good day to share some of the quotes I highlighted from it. It’s past my bedtime so I will share the rest on a different day and possibly add some commentary–though Pope Paul VI already said everything that needs to be said on this subject very well. I included the ‘chapters’ from his encyclical in Italics and then put the selected quotes from those sections under. These are just a few of the best nuggets. For a complete understanding and appreciation, read this great work in its entirety here. (I typed this up quickly so alert me to any mistakes please.)

The Transmission of Life

- The very serious duty of transmitting human life, by reason of which husbands and wives are free and responsible collaborators with God the Creator, has always been for them a source of great joys-joys, however, sometimes accompanied by much difficulty and distress.

- …authorities are greatly tempted to counter this danger [rapid world population growth]with radical measures. Today, moreover, conditions of work and of housing as well as increased demands both in the economic field and in the field of education, often make the adequate support of a large number of children difficult.

- Such as  situation gives rise to new questions. Given the conditions of life today, and given the importance that conjugal relations have for harmony between husband and wife and for their mutual fidelity, would not a revision of the ethical norms in force until now be perhaps advisable, especially when on considers that they cannot be observed without sacrifices, sometimes heroic sacrifices?

Competency of the Magisterium

- Such questions required from the Church’s Magisterium a new and deeper reflections upon the principles of the moral teachign on marriage, a teaching founded on the natural law, illumined and enriched by divine revelation.

- For the natural law, too, is an expression of the will of God, and it likewise must be observed faithfully to obtain salvation.

A Total Vision of Man

- Conjugal love reveals its true nature and nobility when it is considered in its supreme source, God, who is Love, “the Father from whom all fatherhood in heaven and on earth draws its name.”

- Marriage, therefore, is not the effect of chance or the product of the evolution of blind natural forces; it is a wise institution of the Creator for realizing in mankind His design of love. By means of the reciprocal personal self-giving which is proper and exclusive to them, husband and wife tend to the union of their beings with the goal of helping each other to personal perfection in order to collaborate with God in the begetting and rearing of new lives.

Its Characteristics

-In this light, one sees clearly the characteristic marks and requirements of conjugal love.

  • This love is first of all fully human;... it is at the same time both physical and spiritual. It is not, therefore, a simple transport of instinct and feelings but also, and principally, an act of free will, destined to endure and to grow by means of the joys and sorrows of daily life, in such a way that husband and wife become one heart and one soul, and together attain their human perfection.
  • And this love is total…it is a very special form of personal friendship…Whoever truly loves his spouse, does not love her only for what he receives from her but for herself, happy to be able to enrich her with the gift of himself.
  • This love is also faithful and exclusive until death.
  • Finally, this is a love which is fruitful and which is not exhausted by the communion between husband wife.

Responsible Parenthood

-In relation to the biological processes, responsible parenthood means knowing and respecting the functions of these processes; the intellect discovers in the power of giving life biological laws that are part of the human person.

-In the task of transmitting life, they are not free, therefore to proceed at will, as if they could determine with complete autonomy the right paths to follow; rather they must conform their actions to the creative intention of God, expressed in the very nature of marriage and of its acts, and manifested by the constant teaching of the Church.

Respect for the Nature and Finality of the Marriage Act

-These acts, by which husband and wife are united in chaste intimacy and by means of which human life is transmitted, are, as the Council recalled, “good and honorable”, and they do not cease to be legitimate if, for causes independent of the will of husband and wife, they are foreseen to be infertile, because they remain ordained to expressing and strengthening their union. Indeed, as experience bears witness, not every act of marital intercourse is followed by a new life. God has wisely arranged natural laws and rhythms of fertility which already of themselves bring about a separation in the succession of births. But the Church, calling men back to the observance of the norms of the natural law, interpreted by her constant teaching, teaches that each and every marriage act must remain open to the transmission of life.

Two Inseparable Aspects: Union and Procreation:

- Indeed, by its intimate structure, the conjugal act, while closely uniting husband and wife, makes them apt for the generation of new lives, according to laws inscribed in the very being of man woman.

- We think that men of our day are particularly capable of confirming the profoundly reasonable and human character of this fundamental principle.

Faithfulness to God’s Design

-It is, in fact, correctly observed that a conjugal act imposed upon one’s spouse without regard for his or her conditions and legitimate desires is not a true act of love…one who reflects carefully must also recognize that an act of mutual love that prejudices the capacity to transmit life which God the Creator has inserted therein according to particular laws, is in contradiction with the design constitutive of marriage and with the will of the author of life…

- Those who make use of this divine gift while destroying, even if only partially, its significance and its finality, act contrary to the nature of both man and woman and of their most intimate relationship, and therefore, contradict also the plan of God and His will.

Unlawful Means of Birth Regulation

- …the direct interruption of the generative process already begun, and, above all, directly willed and procured abortion, even if for therapeutic reasons, are to be absolutely excluded as lawful means of birth regulation.

-Similarly excluded is every action that, either in anticipation of the conjugal act or in its accomplishment or in the development of is natural consequences, would have as an end or as a means, to render procreation impossible.

- And to justify conjugal acts made intentionally infertile, one cannot invoke as valid reasons the lesser evil…One may not, in other words, make into the object of a positive act of the will something that is intrinsically disordered and hence unworthy of the human person, even when the intention is to safeguard or promote individual, family or social goods. [a fertile conjugal act previously or later cannot turn a intentionally infertile conjugal act good]

Lawfulness of the Recourse to Infertile Time

- …the Church is the first to praise and recommend the intervention of intelligence in a work that so closely associates the rational creature with his Creator; but she affirms that this must be done with respect for the order established by God.

- If then, there are serious motives for spacing births, motives deriving from the physical or psychological conditions of husband or wife, or from external circumstances, the Church teaches that it is then permissible to take into account the natural rhythms immanent in the generative functions and to make use of marriage during the infertile times only, and in this way to regulate births without offending the moral principles that we have just recalled.

- The Church is consistent when she considers recourse to the infertile times to be permissible, while condemning as always wrong the use of means directly contrary to fertilization, even if such use is inspired for reasons that can appear upright and grave.

- In the first case, the husband and wife legitimately avail themselves of a natural condition; in the second case, they impede the working of natural processes.

- …only in the first cae do they prove able to abstain from the use omarriage during the fertile time, when for proper motives procreation is not desirable, then makeing use of it during the infertile times tomanifest affection and to safeguard mutual fidelity. By so doing, they give proof of a love that is truly fully virtuous.

Serous Consequences of Using Artificial Birth Regulation

- Reponsible person can be still more easily convinced of the solid grounds on which teh teaching of the Church in this field is based, if they stop to reflect upon the consequences of the use of the methods of artificial birth regulation.

-It can also be feard that te man who becomes used to contraceptive practices, may in the end lose respect for his wife, and no longer caring about her physical and psychological well0being, will come to the point of considering her a mere instrument of selfish enjoyment, and no longer his respected and beloved companion.

- Consider also the dangerous weapon that would thus be placed in the hands of those public authorities who have no concern for the requierments of morality. Who could blame a government for applying, as a solution to the problems of the community, those means acknowledged to be permissible for a married couple in solving a family problem?


TOB “Day” 2

24. July 2011 · Write a comment · Categories: faith · Tags: , , ,

In continuing with JP II’s Man and Woman He Created Them: A Theology Of The Bodyhere are excerpts from the 2nd General Audience (Day 2), from part 4.

In speaking about the different creation accounts, in this excerpt JPII talks about the first one that he says has more of a theological character than a chronological order.

An indication of this [that it is more theological] is above all the definition of man based on his relationship with God (“in the image of God he created him”), which includes at the same time an affirmation of the absolute impossibility of reducing man to the “world.” Already in the light of the Bible’s first sentences, man can neither be understood nor explained in his full depth with the categories taken from the “world,” that is, from the visible totality of bodies. Nevertheless, man too is a body. Genesis 1:27 establishes that this essential truth about man refers to the male as much as to the female: “God created man in his image…; male and female he created them.”One must recognize that the first account [the first creation story] is concise, free from any trace of subjectivism: it contains only the objective fact and defines the objective reality, both when it speaks about the creation of the human being, male and female, in the image of God, and when it adds a little later the words of the first blessing, “God blessed them and said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth, subdue it, and rule’” (Gen 1:28).

And if you can go on, here is some from part 5 of the same Day 2.

The first account of the creation of man, which, as we have observed, has a theological character, contains hidden within itself a powerful metaphysical content. One should not forget that precisely this text of Genesis has become the source of the deepest inspirations for the thinkers who have sought to understand “being” and “existing…

…To the mystery of his creation (“in the image of God he created him”) corresponds the perspective of procreation “be fruitful and multiply”)…In fact this aspect returns the rhythm of almost all the days of creation and reaches its high point after the creation of man, God saw everything that he had made, and indeed, it was very good” (Gen 1:31)…Of course, all this has its own significance for theology as well, and above all for the theology of the body…The expression “theology of the body” used just now deserves a more exact explanation, but we leave it for another meeting…”

 


Things that make me happy

23. July 2011 · 2 comments · Categories: Listmania · Tags:

Some days are good and some days are…not so good. Yesterday for whatever reason was one of those days, though now I really can’t remember why, it just was. Like Fraulein Maria, when I get down in the dumps and forget to how to smile I try and think of the small almost invisible moments that bring me tiny drops of joy in the midst of chaos.

These are some of my recent ‘favorite things’…

A flower growing in the middle of death and weeds.

My boys playing nicely together (this lasted about 2 seconds though before the 4 year-old snatched the truck and then ran away with it laughing).

Painted toenails.

My 7 year-old girl playing dress-up. Does she have to grow up?

Our white hostas are blooming!

Fresh cucumbers our neighbor brought us from their garden.

The ‘baby’ reading a book nicely at my feet while I do the dishes instead of trying to climb me.

All 3 of the kids watching a movie while I get some work done on the computer.

The ‘baby’ eating yogurt all by himself.

Being able to talk to and see my brother and have the kids talk to and see their uncle even though he lives far away.

Watching my son play chess.

New books from the library!

Playing a whole game of chess with my husband while the kids all stayed sound asleep in their beds.

My baby smile-nursing.

Fresh haircuts. I wish it would stay like this.

Rain! (albeit not enough it was still refreshing to catch a few drops)

Summer storm clouds.

 


Summer Salad Series by Martha

19. July 2011 · 2 comments · Categories: Food · Tags: , ,

Today begins a new Tuesday food post Summer Salad Series brought to you by my own dear mother, Martha; a mom I strive to be like but whose cooking I know neither I nor anyone could ever transcend. Her first entry (of 6) is her delicious Broccoli Salad–creamy, crunchy and sweet all at the same time!

This summer has been so hot, that salads are the way to go.  Here are some of my favorite ones.

BROCCOLI SALAD

*Updated 7/26 with picture*

 

INGREDIENTS:

  • 3 bunches of broccoli,
    chopped (in small pieces not to small)
  • 1/2 red or white onion,
    chopped (in small pieces)
  • ½ cup raisins or cranberries
    or half and half
  • 2 Tbsp. vinegar
  • ½ or 1/3 c. sugar
  • 1 c. mayonnaise
  • 8 slices of fried bacon
    chopped for those who like it.
  • ½ of chopped walnuts or other
    nut optional
  • You can add chopped: cucumber
    ½ to 1 cup and/or 2 rigs of celery chopped fine.

In a bowl combine broccoli, raisins/cranberries, onion (cucumber and celery) In a separate bowl, blend mayonnaise, sugar, and vinegar.  Pour over broccoli mixture and let stand for at least 3 hours in refrigerator. This is a salad that can be made simple or add your own signature. The dressing is the one that gives the sweet and sour taste.

 


Beauty in messes

18. July 2011 · 2 comments · Categories: Random

As some of you may know, I tend to like to keep my house clean. Yes really. :) I’m not sure exactly if this is a genetic trait or something I learned–maybe both? It’s interesting though because as much as I like to have a clean house and as much as I hate messes, I loath cleaning them up. Sometimes I have nightmares that I’m falling into a spiraling black hole of dirty dishes, dirty floors, loads of laundry, toys, toys, and toys. I wake up in a panic–no!!! No more I can’t take it anymore! Then I realize that it’s not real; just a dream.

However, in real life it really does feel very overwhelming when I walk around the house and see mess after mess. I know I’ve written about this frequently and apparently many other mothers and homemakers are plagued by the same feelings when it comes to cleaning up. It’s probably one of the most popular topics of conversation and a subject I read a lot about from other mommy bloggers and authors. The myriad selection of books on the topic of housecleaning is enough to tell me that I’m really not the only who 1. likes to dream about a perfectly clean home, 2. hates messes and 3. obsesses over how to have #1 and get rid of #2 without going completely insane.

I’ve read all the tricks of the trade and for the most part feel good about the system I have in place for keeping the house from falling apart. The problem though is that even with my wonderful plans, I still hate messes and will come up with all sorts of distractions and excuses for avoiding them.

Recently, I’ve been growing up though, maturing even, and am trying to look at things from a different perspective. This started out with my desire to try and communicate more effectively with others, especially when those others think and act very differently than I do but we must still get along or work together. In that process, I’ve also tried to look at my chores from a different perspective too. Messes will never go away. No matter what, they will always be there. And we have to learn to live together in the same house.

But recently I’ve been trying something new. Instead of looking at messes like horrible ugly monsters I’m trying to adopt a different–better–perspective. I try and think about what the mess represents. (want some butter with that corn?)

It may sound silly but it’s been really helping.

For example,

These dirty glasses of wine greeted me one Friday morning along with a few other dirty dishes that the kitchen elves forgot to take care of while we slept.

Instead of letting it ruin my morning or get all mad at myself for not just cleaning them before going to bed I looked at them and thought about why they were there. These wine glasses represented a fun ‘ladies night in’ with some of my most wonderful mommy friends. I could see their happy faces in those wine glasses and I could hear their laughter as I took care of the leftover plates and trash. Suddenly the ugly mess wasn’t so ugly anymore when I looked at it that way.

What about these lids and paintings taking up all the space on my kitchen counter?

Are they a mess? Or are they the leftover drippings from a fun afternoon of painting with my children and Goddaughter?

Ug. flour all over the kitchen floor…

And a baby to blame… <: [

Instead of being mad I decided to laugh and be thankful that James was finally happy and letting me do stuff without being held or nursing 24/7 like he had been doing this past week.

And the sink full of dishes…


…was because I took the time to make a double batch of pancakes and a loaf of banana bread for my family instead of just cheerios and sugar.

This pile of towels on the bathroom floor made me grumble at first.

Grrrr, why don’t they pick these up. I mean really how hard could it be to just pick the towel up by the corner like this…shake it out and then sling it over the towel rack. It’s not rocket science. ZZZZZ I say to my brain–stop thinking that way. Instead of grumbling I paused and looked at the towels, and thought about why they were there-what were they used for?  These towels dried off my children’s bodies after a fun dip into a friends pool yesterday afternoon. These towels kept my children warm when the difference in temperature (I couldn’t use the word cooler) from the pool to the air spread goosebumps all over their little bodies. These towels played peekaboo with me and baby James–gifting me and him a few moments of precious laughter. When I looked at the towels like that, I wasn’t as hard or annoying to have to pick them up.

I wanted to yell when my eyes first saw the state of their room.

But then I remembered I had asked them to take off their sheets and throw them in the washer. I smiled instead and thanked God they were growing up and learning to be responsible and help out with the cleaning.

So aside from all the planning and scheduling, which are important, I’m learning the key to a clean house is not only in keeping and sticking to a nice well-made chore chart but also, and even more importantly, in how I perceive things. Like the great William James said (I have no idea who he is), “”It is our attitude at the beginning of a difficult task which, more than anything else, will affect It’s successful outcome.”

How do you deal with your messes? What do your messes represent?

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