Along with my How to Stay Sane game plan, I’ve been trying to journal my feelings/thoughts more, especially when I am irritated. This helps me diffuse so I don’t take it all out on my family (or myself). I recently wrote down a list of things that cause me great stress and irritation. Some of these I can learn to avoid/prevent but many of these are things that just come with the territory and I just have to deal. The problem (in the past) is that my hormonal/emotional/physical/spiritual health wasn’t as up to the task. I’m hoping my “game plan” will help me handle these situations/issues better. We’ll see. Here are some of my ‘Top Stressers’ in no particular order.
* Food: Planning it, buying it, preparing it, cleaning up from it. I need food, my family needs food, but it sure does get in the way.
* Kids fighting/arguing/screaming/bossing etc, etc. (Especially when baby is trying to sleep or when I’m talking on the phone.)
* Messy kitchen–dirty dishes and crumbs and trash piled everywhere.
* Clutter: Toys, clothes, random socks, books, papers, etc scattered all over the house in plain view but yet no one bothers to put them away. (Yet they notice enough to step over them.)
* Inconsolable crying. When the baby does this (Which he actually hasn’t yet but I’m sure he will at some point) or if someone is seriously hurt (i.e. severe head trauma, broken bones, or profuse amounts of blood gushing out) it doesn’t bother me as much. Other than that, when there is no apparent or reasonable purpose for the never-ending loud siren crying, it is incredibly hard to handle. This is what sets me over the edge more often than anything. Our two-year-old has gotten exceptionally good at this since our sweet babe entered his world. He did finally cut a molar and hasn’t been as bad since. I’m trying to carve out special attention for him throughout the day (reading to him, playing puzzles, giving him extra hugs, etc) but he still has a hard time handling all the attention baby needs from me. Plus he’s just at that age (2 and 3 are evil years.) He’s independent and adventurous which is great except for when he doesn’t want my help (even though he obviously needs it) and when he wants to do something dangerous/hurtful and I tell him no (how could I?!). I roll my eyes and sigh at him several times throughout the day. Then I roll my eyes at myself for tying to reason with a two-year-old. On really bad days, I turn into a roaring dragon and that’s no fun for anyone and I’d like to avoid that as much as possible. (As I’m sure the kids would also.)
* On that note, not knowing how to handle behavioral issues peacefully yet also effectively sends me into an ugly spiral of incompetent and guilty feelings as I tear myself down for not knowing how to parent my own children. I’ve read ALL the books and heard it all. Yet I still can’t get my kids to follow my every command with a smile on their faces.
* Dealing with multiple children’s issues at the SAME TIME.
* Giving my children the love and attention they EACH need.