Overturning Roe v. Wade by helping one woman at a time

Posted on January 23, 2012 by Erika Marie

Today we remember the 39th anniversary of one of the worst decisions in our nation’s history; Roe v. Wade, the US Supreme Court decision that basically legalized abortions, a medical procedure that ‘terminates’ the life of a baby in the womb.

This ruling has plagued and severely divided our nation ever since not just because of the tremendous injustice it has brought to unborn babies, women and families but also because of the monstrous imbalance of power it gave to the federal government over the sovereignty of the states.

Today, thousands of men, women and children gathered together in our nation’s capitol and in other cities around the country to march, in both protest of this 1973 ruling, but also in remembrance—of all the lives that have been destroyed because of it.

But while we continue to fight against this ruling, we have to remember that Roe v. Wade may have made it legal for a woman to choose to abort the baby in her womb, it will take more than just another court ruling to change the culture that has not only accepted it but ferociously embraced it.

The “pro-life” vs. “pro-choice” lines in politics is clear but when the dust settles between heated arguments, there remain the real issues—the real women and the real children and real families who are affected by abortion. In order to “end abortion” we’ll have to put down our posters and megaphones and take a good look at why a woman chooses to abort her own child. And we have to realize that, in many cases, not only is this an extremely difficult decision for a woman it is also not what she really wanted. The reasons women abort their children existed before Roe v. Wade and they will exist even after Roe v. Wade is passed or after stricter abortion laws are passed.

I am not saying we should abandon these pursuits to overturn Roe v. Wade or work on restrictions on abortions in order to get there. I’m just saying that if we care for the defenseless babies we must also care for their mothers by listening to them and supporting them so they don’t feel that killing their own child is the only real choice for them. And when I say “we”, I am not talking about the government; I am talking about we, the people.

Perhaps in this regard I share some agreement in President Obama’s remarks on the Roe v. Wade anniversary.

“While this is a sensitive and often divisive issue — no matter what our views, we must stay united in our determination to prevent unintended pregnancies, support pregnant woman and mothers, reduce the need for abortion, encourage healthy relationships, and promote adoption.”

Of course I differ with him on how to do this, especially when it comes to the part about preventing unintended pregnancies, but that’s a whole different can of worms I’ll save for another post.

In general, I do support an individual’s rights to make their own health care choices and I firmly believe “that government should not intrude on private family [health] matters.” But I draw the line when it comes to abortion because we are not talking only about one person here but at least TWO. Abortion has a 100% chance of causing death to at least one person and a high chance of causing long-term pain and suffering to another. This isn’t just another health care decision, this is a decision that terminates a defenseless life—a life that also deserves the right of “choice”.

No matter what the circumstances are, or what sort of life the child might be born into, he or she still deserves at least a chance to live, to be free and to discover happiness in life just like any of the rest of us.

In ending a post that could go on forever, I think Mother Teresa, who worked with the poorest of the poor and understood pain and suffering, articulated the tragedy of Roe v. Wade the best.

“It is a tragedy that a child must die so that a woman may live as she pleases.”

And,

“America needs no words from me to see how your decision in Roe v. Wade has deformed a great nation. The so-called right to abortion has pitted mothers against their children and women against men. It has sown violence and discord at the heart of the most intimate human relationships. It has aggravated the derogation of the father’s role in an increasingly fatherless society. It has portrayed the greatest of gifts — a child — as a competitor, an intrusion, and an inconvenience.

Posted in Health, motherhood, Women | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

First Trimerster “Tunnel”

Posted on January 21, 2012 by Erika Marie

This post about the “Tunnel of Parenthood” has been going around for a while. The “tunnel” in Emily Sederstrand’s post refers to the first 5 years of parenthood and how hard and anxiety-producing it is. We’ve been at this parenting thing for a little over 8 years now and while we are definitely out of that ‘tunnel’ I think we still go in and out of different tunnels in between.

I was walking through a long underground walk-way tunnel the other day and it was just like a scene from a movie when you see the lights start blurring and the walls feel like they are starting to close in on you.

That’s kind of how the 1st trimester ‘tunnel’ feels for me. Everything is a blur and most days I feel like the constant nausea and fatigue is just going to swallow me up. I go through the motions of the day but when I look back I can hardly remember what I did or even how I did it. So many things have had to move to the back burner as I go back to just the basics: Sleep, eat, make food, pee, sleep, eat, sleep, make food, sleep, pee…sounds like a newborn baby except for the making food part. :)

The house is a mess most of the time, which bothers me apparently more than the other house inhabitants. I’ve tried to loosen up during this time but it’s hard to see how much is neglected if I am not there to remind everyone about helping to pick up. Why is it so hard to see a sock or a toy on the floor and put it away instead of just stepping over it? I guess these are talents they have yet to develop. Last night, after weeks of avoiding their messy rooms I finally called for a clean-up session. Now, let’s see how long it will stay that way.

It’s not all bad though. Being forced to take it easy also forces me to enjoy the basic joys. My kids have taken advantage of my frequent couch time by having me read them many books…even if I fall asleep half-way through sometimes. My daughter and I actually sat down together and knitted. I really enjoyed that. I also haven’t had much energy to think too much or get too stressed—or at least I don’t have enough energy to notice if I am stressed. Which I think is good? Especially right now as I’m still in the thick of a major project that is anything but stress-free. It’s been humbling, which is what I’ve prayed for. It’s hard to be humbled but I am slowly seeing that God has a plan and a reason for letting me be weaker right now so that others can be stronger.

There are many complaints of pregnancy. Sometimes I forget, for a little bit, about the tiny human being growing in me that is the reason for it all. But then I quickly remember and a smile, even if a small weak one, brightens my tired self and sustains me. Just a little bit longer…I can already start to see the bright energetic rays of 2nd trimester at the end of this tunnel.

 

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Two lines of Hope

Posted on January 12, 2012 by Erika Marie

Time to look.

One line.

Whew…

A little sad…

Wait.

What’s that?

A second line?

Could it be?

Is it?

Yup.

A little faint.

Definitely there, though.

Eternity passes through me.

A lump forms in my throat.

A flood of thoughts and feelings gushes into my heart and sets it beating.

My hands hug my abdomen, my mind sees the tiny baby who has been hiding there.

I look at my two-year old; my baby.

And suddenly see how big he is.

I think of how hard it’s been with him, how much he has rocked our little world.

How much I love him…

and my other two.

I think of “morning” sickeness, fatigue, ligament pain, back pain…pain and discomfort.

Ug.

I think of sleepless nights, especially since the two-year old has been driving us ‘insane’ with his sleepless night-time shenanigans.

The lump grows and rises up through my throat.

A sob breaks forth.

Tears…

Overwhelmed by the tremendous GIFT

that God has honored and humbled us with for the fourth time.

Doubt…

turns into TRUST…

Trust turns into PEACE…

Peace turns into LOVE.

 

 

 

 

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Pee on a Stick

Posted on January 10, 2012 by Erika Marie

Pee

Pee on stick

Set stick on counter

Watch the white strip turn pink as pee sinks in

Quickly leave room without looking at stick

Walk around the room

Pretending nothing is happening

Heart pounds

Legs go limp

Stomach turns

What will it be?

Is it already?

Wait a little longer

As if I could prolong what already is

Breathe; in through the nose…out through the mouth…

Everything is going to be ok

3 minutes is a very long time

God help me accept

Whatever it is…

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Simple Christmas

Posted on December 26, 2011 by Erika Marie

Merry Christmas!

I haven’t blogged in too long. I think about blogging and then I sit down to write and either someone (usually a little impatient toddler) interrupts my thoughts and then it’s just not worth coming back to. He’s been sleeping in his bed for over an hour now so I’m really risking it by even starting this blog post as he’ll most likely sense what’s going on and decide to wake up.

He’s been sleeping “better”. It’s been quite the sleepless saga with him, really with all our children. Maybe our next baby will understand and appreciate the necessity and value of a full night’s sleep and long uninterrupted naps during the day. :)

So for a while, about the first year of his life, it worked well to have him sleep with us in bed. But then he started moving and grunting and waking up so often that I seriously wonder if any of us really ever got any sleep. So earlier this year we moved beds around and started trying to get him to sleep with his older brother and sister in their room, hoping the idea of being included in the ‘big kids room’ might motivate him enough to make him sleep like a ‘big kid’. No. He would go to sleep for a few hours there but then wake up right when my husband and I finally crawled into bed and want to be with us, which again doesn’t work so well since he is bigger and likes to kick and move around a lot. So then we decided we’d tried it the ‘nice’ way long enough and we’d have to get a little more serious with him. That didn’t work either. We would never actually hurt him to force him to sleep but I think even if we tried to he would still get up. His ‘need’ to be with us (me) at night is more powerful than any fear of what consequences he’d have for getting out of bed.  So we borrowed a toddler bed from a friend and have it next to my side of the bed. That has mildly helpful for when he does wake up and come into our room at night. Then I tell him he can stay right there next to him, he can even hold my hand for a little, but if he’s not nice he’ll have to go back to the other room. This has ‘worked’ but he still wakes up to look for me even though I am right there! Silly boy, just sleep!! One big accomplishment though is that we have been able to wean him from nursing all night long. Now it’s only when he goes to bed, if he wakes up again before I go to bed, and then not again until the “sun comes up” in the morning or when ‘mama gets up’. He seems sad about this but has cooperated with these new ‘rules’ for the most part.

He is still far from sleeping ‘well’ but I see glimmers of hope every now and then, like the other night when he stayed in his bed since the time we put him down (around 8:30) until around 4 in the morning instead of 11, 12, 12:30, 1, 1:20, 2:00, etc. Thank you to those who have been praying for him and us to get better sleep. Please keep it up! I try to remember to offer his restlessness at night for those new moms or single moms or moms with sick kids or just all moms and dads in general.

This post was supposed to be about Christmas but turned into something else. So I’ll just say that we had a very nice Christmas. I’ve been super busy and stressed this year with a major project and I was able to take this month “off” for the most part and it was a very nice reprieve. Unfortunately, I also came down with a cold that has been weighing me down the past 2 weeks but feeling tired and icky has helped me keep things very simple. I didn’t get to make any Christmas cookies or treats with the kids for our neighbors and family like I wanted or put together a fruit basket to bring to the St. Anthony Family shelter like I dreamed of, but we did get all our presents for our family bought and wrapped and all the kids stayed healthy (so far) and it’s just been nice to not think about much, just being at peace and enjoying our family time without all the stresses and deadlines. As I commented on another friend’s blog, sometimes the “good enough” Christmases end up being some of the better ones since it forces you to focus on the simple things instead of getting all stressed and worried about the all the extraordinary things you could do.

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Chicken Stew & Roasted Tomato Basil Soup

Posted on December 13, 2011 by Erika Marie

With gloomy grey skies and bareless branches, the end of autumn has come and the cold long days of winter are upon us. But before we all retreat into hibernation, here are two more soup recipes in the Autumn Soup Series by Martha to warm you up. Thank you again, mom, for sharing these!

First, a hearty Chicken Stew:

Ingredients

  • 2 tablespoons olive oil
  • 2 stalks celery, cut into
    bite-size pieces
  • 1 carrot, peeled, cut into bite-size pieces
  • 1 small onion, chopped
  • Salt and freshly ground black
    pepper
  • 1 (14 1/2-ounce) can chopped
    tomatoes
  • 1 (14-ounce) can low-salt chicken
    broth
  • 1/2 cup fresh basil leaves, torn into pieces
  • 1 tablespoon tomato paste
  • 1 bay leaf
  • 1/2 teaspoon dried thyme
    leaves
  • 2 chicken breast with ribs
    (about 1 1/2 pounds total)
  • 1 (15-ounce) can organic
    kidney beans, drained (rinsed if not organic)
  • Serving suggestion: crusty
    bread

Directions

Heat the oil in a heavy 5 1/2-quart saucepan over medium
heat. Add the celery, carrot, and onion. Sauté the vegetables until the onion
is translucent, about 5 minutes. Season with salt and pepper, to taste. Stir in
the tomatoes with their juices, chicken broth, basil, tomato paste, bay leaf,
and thyme. Add the chicken breasts; press to submerge.

Bring the cooking liquid to a simmer. Reduce the heat to
medium-low and simmer gently uncovered until the chicken is almost cooked
through, turning the chicken breasts over and stirring the mixture
occasionally, about 25 minutes. Using tongs transfer the chicken breasts to a
work surface and cool for 5 minutes. Discard the bay leaf. Add the kidney beans
to the pot and simmer until the liquid has reduced into a stew consistency,
about 10 minutes.

Discard the skin and bones from the chicken breasts.
Shred or cut the chicken into bite- size pieces. Return the chicken meat to the
stew. Bring the stew just to a simmer. Season with salt and pepper, to taste.

Note: Again, I didn’t follow the recipe exactly and just used cut up chicken breasts without the bone so cut that whole part out but it would add a lot of flavor if you are able to do follow the recipe exactly.

Next, a Roasted Basil Tomato Soup                                                (shared from The Barefoot Contessa Cookbook)

Ingredients

  • 3 pounds ripe plum tomatoes, cut in half lengthwise
  • 1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons good olive oil
  • 1 tablespoon kosher salt
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons freshly ground black pepper
  • 2 cups chopped yellow onions (2 onions)
  • 6 garlic cloves, minced
  • 2 tablespoons unsalted butter
  • 1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
  • 1 (28-ounce) canned plum tomatoes, with their juice
  • 4 cups fresh basil leaves, packed
  • 1 teaspoon fresh thyme leaves
  • 1 quart chicken stock or water

Directions

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F. Toss together the
tomatoes, 1/4 cup olive oil, salt, and pepper. Spread the tomatoes in 1 layer
on a baking sheet and roast for 45 minutes.

In an 8-quart stockpot over medium heat, saute the onions
and garlic with 2 tablespoons of olive oil, the butter, and red pepper flakes
for 10 minutes, until the onions start to brown. Add the canned tomatoes,
basil, thyme, and chicken stock. Add the oven-roasted tomatoes, including the
liquid on the baking sheet. Bring to a boil and simmer uncovered for 40
minutes. Pass through a food mill fitted with the coarsest blade. Taste for
seasonings. Serve hot or cold.

I hope you enjoyed the Autumn Soup Series by Martha! You can find all the soup recipes here. Any suggestions or volunteers for the next Food Series?

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10 Random Things

Posted on December 2, 2011 by Erika Marie

Inspired by my friend, Debi’s, 10 Strange Facts About Me, I thought I’d spend a nice quiet evening sharing some random things about me you may or not know.

1. I love reading with my children. When we all sit down and read together, it’s like everything else around us just disappears for a little bit; all the worries, stresses, things to do…gone for a few minutes while we travel to distant lands and meet people from the past or new creatures from places of fantasy . I especially love reading with my daughter,it’s how we re-connect after not seeing each other all day. Aside from random books the kids bring me from around the house, we have also been reading Mary Poppins together—did you know there was a book? Well I didn’t so I was very excited to find it and we are all enjoying it immensely!

2. I would like to write a book one day. I don’t know what it will be about yet though. I would also really like to write and illustrate a children’s book one day. I have many ideas and images that go through my head all the time. I checked out a couple books from the library about how to write, illustrate and publish children’s books. One day…

3. I love art. I love drawing the most but painting with acrylics and recently water-color are very close seconds, along with writing. Art is my language, it’s how I understand life and how I best express it.

4. Ever since I can remember I’ve wanted to go to Italy, where my aunt lives, and travel through the country and paint with her.

5. When I was in 5th grade I joined the track team and loved it. I love running, although not maybe as much as I did when I was young whippersnapper like that. I used to run in my neighborhood while praying with the Rosary as my guide and I wouldn’t let myself come home until I finished praying. I still use the Rosary as a prayer and “mile-marker” while running/walking.

6. I also used to play volleyball in grade school and then in CYO highschool and intramurals in college. I really sucked. But I loved it anyway.

7. I would also love to travel to Austria one day (amongst many other places!). My dad’s parents lived in Vienna until they had to escape to England during the war. I’d like to see where they lived before all that. I would also love to hike around the Austrian mountains…and yodel.

8. I ate air-freshner fluid once. I was young (around 7 maybe) and dumb and a sucker under peer-pressure. My neighbor-best friend told me I had to drink the stuff in her bathroom’s air freshner or I had to go home. I didn’t really feel like going home so I did it. I ended up going  home anyway and never ever ate air-freshener liquid again, I really can’t even stand to smell them but I  laugh to at myself every time I see one.

9. When I was in 6th grade I had a hair scrunchi business. My mom taught me how to make them and I caught on and then girls at school wanted me to make some for them so I started a small scrunchi business. It went on strong for a few weeks (which is  long time in grade-school time) and then I think either I got tired of making them or everyone else got tired of wearing them. I wonder if any of those girls still have some scrunchies made by Erika.

10. Like my blogger-twin, I too have neurotic cloth-buying obsessions. I’ve really liked the look of leggings under sweater “dresses” or long shirts with either boots or flats for a while now. It’s becoming more of a “regular” outfit around here instead of just a “I pretend like I live in New York but actually live Kansas” outfit. I actually went to the store and tried such an outfit on the other day. I looked in the mirror and just laughed–who am I trying to be? Besides, those sweater dresses might be comfortable and super cute on others but for me they just zone the eyes into all the wrong places on me. That said, I really love skirts and wish they weren’t such an endangered-fashion-species. I found three nice skirts at the Goodwill and snagged them before they went extinct, now I just have to find shirts to match. I don’t think women should only wear skirts for any religious reasons but I do think it makes us look better and I always feel more beautiful in a skirt. I especially like wearing them when I am pregnant in the warmer months. It’s hard to wear skirts in the winter though so I think it would be fun to buy some leggings or cool tights to go under a nice skirt and shirt with either non-attention-getting boots or some simple flats.
Though I can’t really stand her, I admire the bold and outrageously-creative outfits of Lady Gaga. You definitely won’t see anyone else wearing what she does! Sometimes I wish I dressed more eccentric, in a way that more truly expressed my artistic and creative personality, usually I end up just feeling silly when I do or, like practical strawberry, can’t justify spending $ on eccentricity or cuteness when there are far more important things in life to spend $ on.

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Small Successes Thursday December 1

Posted on December 1, 2011 by Erika Marie

It’s been a while since I’ve shared my small successes. I’ve been too busy with bigger projects but it’s really made me appreciate the smaller seemingly insignificant jobs around the house and with the family. So here are some small successes that have really brought me joy lately.

1. I finally said goodbye to the 2 year-old’s 18 month clothes. They are packed and ready for his cousin. I have a hard time detaching from the different ‘age’ clothes because it means my baby is growing up so quickly and it might be the very last time any of our children use the clothes. We still have all our daughter’s clothes in storage waiting for another baby girl to come along. Pretty soon the fashion might start to outdate her clothes though!

2. I bought some more bags to store all these clothes in and a plastic shelving unit to stack them on in the basement. Hopefully I’ll get that started this weekend.

3. I bought new Advent candles and got out our advent wreath ring and put the candles in and we’ve successfully lit them 2 nights in a row now! Hopefully I’ll have time this weekend to decorate the ring and be able to more properly call it an Advent wreath. My approach to Advent this year is slow and steady and peaceful. (Hopefully this will not turn into crazy rush in the last week!)

Come, share your smal successes at Chocolate For Your Brain

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White Chili

Posted on November 29, 2011 by Erika Marie

White Chili is up next in the Autumn Soup Series by Martha. This is a fun twist to the average brown/beef chili. It seems more elegant and creamier. I really like the taste of the white northern beans combined with the chicken.

Here is the recipe below as shared by Martha. Mine came out a little different because I failed to read the recipe all the way through before just dumping everything into the crock pot, oops! It still tasted great but I’d like to go back and see if they chicken has more flavor if I saute it with the onion and garlic (which I also didn’t get to add b/c of a toddler who doesn’t believe in naps!). I also didn’t put in as much cheese as too much cheese doesn’t settle with our tummies very well. Have you ever had White Chili? What are some of your favorite White Chili recipes?

 White Chili 
originally from Janice McClure
 

 Soup Ingredients
3 cans northern white beans
6 cup chicken broth
1 tsp. chicken bouillon
¾ large onion, chopped
1 Tbsp. oil
6 cloves garlic, minced
½ can Ro-tel diced tomatoes with green chili peppers
3 tsp. ground cumin
2 tsp. dried oregano
1 1/2 tsp cayenne pepper (I didn’t have this so I added 1 tsp of chili powder instead)
4 cup cooked chicken, diced
1 cup sour cream
3 cups Monterrey jack cheese, shredded (I only had mozzarella, which does NOT substitute well!)

For serving ingredients:

  • Sour cream
  • Green onions
  • Cilantro chopped
  • Tomatoes chopped

Combine beans, broth, and chicken bouillon in a large pot. Simmer covered for 20 minutes.
Sauté onion and garlic in oil until golden, add this, ro-tel, cumin, oregano, cayenne pepper and chicken to the bean mixture. Simmer for 30 minutes,
Add sour cream and cheese and heat until cheese melts.

Serve with sour cream, green onions, cilantro and chopped tomatoes or any other topping of your choice.

May be frozen before adding sour cream and cheese.

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2nd Runner-up….

Posted on November 24, 2011 by Erika Marie

Ok, well I haven’t heard from Kristi so according to my other random number generator….

 

the winner of the Book of Saints for Catholic Moms GIVEAWAY is……..

……..

#5 Debi!

Congrats Debi! I think you will really love this! Comment here within the next 24 hours to claim your prize!

 

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