Babymoon

05. September 2012 · 4 comments · Categories: Marriage, motherhood

“Babymoon has several meanings. The original meaning is a period of time that parents spend bonding with a recently-born baby.”

These last few weeks have been blissful as we enjoy the ‘babymoon’ with our newest little miracle. My husband was able to use sick days and some vacation he’d accrued to stay home with me and the babe and help with our other three children until this week. I’m eternally grateful for having all that time with my husband here to help.

Aside from being spoiled by his extra set of hands and voice (especially with the older boys and their shenanigans), I love that we both could enjoy the babymoon together. I had the privilege of carrying our baby inside of me for nine months. Now, my husband and our family get to know him together with me.

This pregnancy was different in many ways, as most pregnancies are I suppose. It was more challenging physically, emotionally and spiritually and, as I shared, the labor and birth weren’t just a walk in the park either. But the joy-filled result of that pregnancy and birth – our beautiful & precious baby – exceedingly outweighs the challenges from those times. Since the moment he finally came out, I’ve relished every moment I get to look at him and hold him and kiss him. I’m so glad he is here and I’m not pregnant! I’d forgotten what it felt like not being pregnant.

One goal I made during pregnancy was to enjoy the moments and weeks after birth with our baby instead of getting too panicked or frazzled by everything that follows and all the family/friends visiting. Thanks to the help of my husband, and midwife, I was able to relax and just enjoy holding our baby for the first time and the last few weeks I feel I was able to really soak him in and relax and rest.

I’ve limited my use of the computer so I can focus on my baby’s beautiful face instead of the computer screen. I love looking down at him while he nurses (although my neck protests!) I love feeling his soft new skin and running my hands over his soft hair. I love smelling him and kissing him and just taking him all in. He’s been awake more and I love when he opens his eyes and bobs his head up and down looking to see me when I hold him. We stare deeply into each other and I know he knows I’m his mama and he’s my little squishy and I love him.

I love watching him with his daddy, who has some magical spell over him. Though my husband obviously can’t bond with him by nursing, my husband loves to hold him and sit next to us while we nurse so baby sees both of us when he looks up while nursing. He also falls asleep nicely with him and is very content when he holds him. This makes me happy because I know how happy it makes my husband. I also love this time for what it does for our marriage. I love how he takes care of me during this time. I get to fall in love with my husband all over again. I get to remember and be thankful I married him. This, this is what I said Yes and I do for.

I love how much our kids love their little brother and how he is interested in them and looks at them with curious admiration. Our daughter is such a little mother; she’d probably nurse him if she could. Our five-year-old son has a sweet sincere love for his baby brother. I’ve had to tell him to hold off on all the kisses and touches so he just waves at him with his sweet smile all the time. I’m not quite sure what the two-year-old really thinks yet. He’s kept his distance a little but I can tell he really loves him too, just in his own little two-year-old way. I know they will not always be so gentle and kind as he grows up and gets into their stuff so I’m enjoying this time of peace between him and them while it lasts.

The only thing I hate about this time is how fast it goes. It’s already been three weeks (tomorrow) and I’m already forgetting moments from yesterday. I wish there was a way to make time stay still. He has nothing but love for me now and I can’t get really mad with him yet. I want to hang onto this time forever. Yet, of course, I do want him to continue developing and be healthy. I’m thankful at least I can go back and remember these fleeting moments through our pictures and videos we take of him now. Although, a time machine that could let me come back and enjoy this time would be better.

Life, every moment, is so precious. Birth and death are our best reminders of this. Enjoy your day today, enjoy your family and your friends and everything. Gozar la vida.


Positive husband-talk

03. August 2012 · 2 comments · Categories: Marriage

So far, for my “positive kid-talk” goal I’ve shared what I love about my two sons and not too long ago about my sweet daughter. It’s been helpful focusing on what I love about them instead of only what drives me crazy. Soon our lives and family will go through more big transitions (baby and school) and I’m enjoying this time to relish my family as we are with the hope and excitement for more joy to come. Since I’ve already given time to my children (out of utero), I’ll do something way radical and risky and talk about my husband today. (Don’t worry, darling, only positive talk allowed.)

Back in May I read this post about blogging about marriage at Faith and Family and have thought about it on and off since. I agree there ought to be more talk about marriage but it is difficult to write about something so sacred and intimate and private in such a public way. I love Marriage, the beautiful living Sacrament, and I love to read and write about it…in general terms. Those who know me personally know more about what our marriage and my husband and me are like beyond the general but for the most part, I don’t share the details of our marriage beyond close friends. Even then, I try to make a conscious effort not to spend time only complaining about the things that bother me about him and feel I’ve gotten better with this over the years.

Like in any relationship, there are of course things that irk me about him but we’ve been married long enough now (almost 10 years!) that many of those things have either a) stopped bothering me, b) I’ve chosen not to let them bother me (as much), or c) I’ve gotten better at talking with him honestly about them instead of assuming he can read my mind.

Either way, I don’t think it would do me, him, us, or any of you any good for me to complain on my blog about anything I was upset or irritated about with him. He’s my husband so if I have a problem big enough to want to share, I should just talk with him about it honestly. With our children, it’s easier to whine/vent because they generally will not read our posts about them (until they are older and can laugh about it with us). Still, we should be respectful of them and keep a good balance between whining, praising, or simply saying nothing at all. It’s nice to get encouragement and sympathy from other moms since we most likely will not get that from our children (especially the ones who are too young to talk or really understand why repeating the same thing to them over and over drives us moms absolutely batty).

That said, I will now commence my positive husband-talk and lavish him with all sorts of praises and make all you wish you married him and inspire you to look at your husband and remember what you love about him and why you married him.

The first word I think of when I think of my husband is integrity. He is a man of great integrity, always seeking to do what is right over what is easier/popular.

Other words that come to mind when I think (positively) of him.

Confident; he is sure of who he is, who I am, who God is/isn’t. When he knows something is true or right, he sticks to it without fear or hesitation. Even if I doubt, he holds me up with his confidence and reminds me (often) of what I already know.

Man of honor; He’s honest, fair, respectful. You can count on him.

Faithful; to me, his family, and (most importantly) God and his Faith.

Silly, goofy, funny, playful; he can always make me laugh, even when I don’t want to.

Awesome Daddy; I couldn’t have asked for a better father for our children and they adore him.

Caring, gentle; he stays up our kids when they are sick or hurt, camps out in the bathroom next to the toilet or by their beds, speaking words of encouragement that work magic on them (and me when I’m not feeling well also)

Good listener; he listens more than he talks (which works well since I’m kind of the opposite)

Patient; He has put up with me for all these years and all the cRaZy obsessions I’ve gone through. Even when he knows I’m being silly, he waits and/or supports me until I realize my own silliness. He knows me better than I know myself yet he waits, patiently, for me to figure it out on my own.

Intelligent, Common Sense, Smart; he understands things in a way I just can’t grasp. When he learns something, it’s like on the Matrix when they upload information into their heads and bam! it’s just there in their heads and he just gets it.

Talented; especially when it comes to photography, atronomy and the two together (astrophotography) the man has some serious skillz.

Hard worker; he takes his job seriously. He is truly grateful for his job, enjoys it, and puts his whole self into it…and that is his greatest reward.

Loving, respectful, loyal husband; he loves me. He knew we were supposed to get married before I did and once he knew, he knew. I am his wife, his love, his bride – forever.

Yeah, he’s not ‘perfect’ but he is perfect for me. I love him–my husband, my love, my groom – forever.


A rambly NFP post

25. July 2012 · 1 comment · Categories: faith, Marriage, motherhood, NFP, pregnancy · Tags: , , , ,

Happy Natural Family Planning Awareness Week and 44th Anniversary of Pope Paul VI’s Humanae Vitae!

I’ve been thinking about NFP this week and how prophetically genius Humanae Vitae is.  I was going to share some of my favorite quotes but remembered I already did last year here and here. It’s not a long read, I highly suggest taking some time to read it. Too many Catholics, and non-Catholics, have missed out on this treasure.

I love the way God created the human body; it’s beautiful and amazing and miraculous. I am especially amazed with how intricate the design of the female body is with our natural rhythms and cycles. With such a deep respect for the Sacrament of Marriage coupled with how my body and my husband’s work together, it is only natural for me to also love Natural Family Planning. I write about it so much I created a new page for all my posts/articles on the subject. I’d like to add other author’s articles here too so feel free to send me a link to some good ones and I’ll post them there too. (Maybe I’ll make a new Pinterest board for that, too).

I re-read some of my past posts and I had to laugh a little when reading the one about being “Done!?.”. I have a different perspective on it now that I am pregnant and definitely feeling “done!” with this pregnancy. This time has been different than the previous three. I started out determined not to complain/whine as much during this pregnancy but well it’s kind of hard not to when it’s so physically and emotionally draining–it just takes over. Though I’m still ‘young’ (under 30) this is my 4th pregnancy and yes, it does make a difference. It has made a difference physically–even though I am ‘in shape’ my body isn’t quite as chipper as it was the first go around. Things are more…”saggy” for lack of a better explanation. It also makes a difference having 3 other kids to chase around/yell at/pay attention to/care for than just two sweet ones that usually got along wonderfully together. On the one hand, it’s kept me busier and more distracted, especially during the school year when I was frequently nauseous. The time has flown by quickly too. And, even though there is more ‘work’ with more kids, there are also more helping hands. I’m so thankful I can send my daughter or sons upstairs or downstairs to fetch things for me when I’m too tired to climb back up when I just came down. They even rub my feet and back for me sometimes!

The physical exhaustion has gotten to me the most this time though. I feel like Jessie Spano, I have all these lofty goals and ideas but at the end of the day I’m just too tired and only want to crash on my bed and sleep forever. However, when I do finally get to lay down I’m so uncomfortable or have to pee every 15-20 minutes that I don’t get much rest anyway.

That said, I’m incredibly grateful for how healthy I am and how good I do have it because I know of many other women who have much ‘worse’ times in pregnancy. And of course, there are those who have an even worse “empty” pain if they’ve lost a baby to miscarriage or have yet to even had the chance to complain about being pregnant at all. My only major complaint this go around has been my darn side ligament spastic pain that plagues me throughout the day/night. It hasn’t been as bad the last week as my body loosens up and prepares for labor/birth, which I am incredibly thankful for. Still, it’s those little ‘pebbles in the shoe’ parts of pregnancy that weigh me down after a while.

The combination of the physical exhaustion and the emotional stress of being pregnant with 3 other littles around has majorly tested me and I’ve failed more times than risen above. There were definitely moments of feeling done with the pregnancy in my other ones, but this has been the first time I’ve ever really felt like not doing this again…at least not for a long time. I know this might change, especially after I am no longer pregnant, but for now I feel I have reached my personal threshold.

With these feelings, I can relate to those women who resort to sterilization or contraception after pregnancy. There are many good-’sounding’ reasons used to justify their use, especially after extremely challenging pregnancies and/or births. Sometimes, it feels like too much and that the only way “out” is to permanently or temporarily prevent having to go through that again. I get it, I do. However, it doesn’t make it “right” in the same way it would not be right for a mother to drown her newborn baby in a bathtub because of similar feelings. There are other healthier ways to deal and it’s the same with “family planning,” (though I really hate that word and even think Natural “Family Planning” could use a better name).

I was carrying these burdensome feelings around with me and finally emptied them out honestly to a priest. He listened and then delicately said, “I know I could never possibly understand what this is like for you or any other woman or family, but remember, this is a GIFT”.  I heard this before but for whatever reason, the way he said it broke the dark-thunder-cloud spell that had overtaken me and I felt a huge relief. This–this baby and all that comes with him–is a GIFT. This has brought me much-needed peace in the last few weeks and strength to continue with this last part of the journey with joy instead of only grumbling. In a few weeks, I’ll hold my baby–I’ll look into his eyes and smell him and feel his soft skin and I’ll know–all this was 100% worth it.

It is the joy my children bring me that will remind me of this if and when we may receive this gift again in the future; even if I don’t feel ‘ready’ and accept it a bit grudgingly, deep down, I’ll always be thankful and grateful for each child God sends us; for each GIFT he humbles us with. I may feel like I can’t do this anymore or ever again, but I know We (God, my husband, and me) can.

 


Embellishing God’s Will

20. May 2012 · 2 comments · Categories: faith, Marriage, motherhood · Tags: , , , , , ,

I’ve been meditating and reflecting a lot on God’s Will for me; what is He calling me to do?

I ask Him, “Lord, what do you want of me? Where and how do you want me to serve you?

His answer has always been simple: ” Here. Right here.”

He says this to me when I am nursing (or when I was anyway), or when I am putting the kids to bed at night or for naps.

“Here. Right here.”

He says this to me when I’m doing laundry or working in the kitchen.

“Here. Right here.”

He is answer is always so simple. So…peaceful and somehow full of everything I really need to know. Yet, I am but a human being and do not accept it. I want more. (Cue: Ariel). I try to make it complicated and put words in His mouth; add my own plans and try to accessorize His Will with my own embellishments.

In the end, the naked simplicity of His Will is beautiful without anything extra. His Will is perfect…even if it is simple.

Though His Will, His grace, is all I need and I want to accept His answer to be “Here. Right here”, I am weak and stubborn.

I try to add my own plans and force something into it that really doesn’t belong. And God is too patient with me and lets me find out how wrong I am. I love my vocation as a wife and mother. But as I wrote and shared here at CatholicMom.com, it is challenging to balance serving my family in the home and serving those around me outside of the home and apart from my family.

I 100% believe in the importance of a mother being at home and available as much as she can for her family, especially when the kids are young. However, I also see a huge need for women to serve in the world outside of their home and families as well. Women bring a certain dynamic, a unique ”genius” to decisions and to the workplace. Men are very good concrete thinkers but women help bring in the right amount of emotion and practical thinking to transform their ideas into a realistic application. This is especially true for women who are also mothers; women who know what family life is really like, what a family needs and how to sensibly help families carry out their missions and support themselves.

In his Apostolic Letter, Mulieris Dignitatem (On the Dignity and Vocation of Women), Pope John Paul II speaks very highly of women; both as mothers and as women in the world.

When we say that the woman is the one who receives love in order to love in return, this refers not only or above all to the specific spousal relationship of marriage. It means something more universal, based on the very fact of her being a woman within all the interpersonal relationships which, in the most varied ways, shape society and structure the interaction between all persons – men and women. In this broad and diversified context, a woman represents a particular value by the fact that she is a human person, and, at the same time, this particular person, by the fact of her femininity. This concerns each and every woman, independently of the cultural context in which she lives, and independently of her spiritual, psychological and physical characteristics, as for example, age, education, health, work, and whether she is married or single.

As I look around and observe, I see many mothers who put their families first but also find small ways to share their time and talent with others at paid and volunteer positions as extensions of their work at home. One friend is a nurse, another teaches part-time, one gets to escape for a few hours a week to play pool work with a parish website company, and another will soon share here talent and expertise in cake/cookie decorating.  In each place, in their homes and at their jobs, they are following God’s will to serve their family and to bring Christ’s love to all the world simply by living their lives for Him in everything they do.

Though I know God calls me to serve my family “at home” for now, and I’m doing a better job of figuring out how to do this, I still like to share my “feminine genius” that God gave me in other ways and as the kids get older I’m sure God’s simple Will for me will branch out from the main trunk of our “domestic church“.

I would love to work/volunteer with supporting strong marriages and families; which includes a greater awareness of the Marriage as a sacred and living Sacrament and the gift of Natural Family Planning. I’d really love to work with pregnancy crisis centers or other work to support mothers. Motherhood is beautiful, but without the proper help and mother-to-mother support, it can seem more like a burden than the joyful gift it is. I also dream of writing a book or two one day…not sure about what yet but something.

For now, I will focus on God’s simple call for me to be “Here. Right here.”

 

 


Establishing Daily Routines and Rhythms

23. April 2012 · 5 comments · Categories: Around the House, Marriage, motherhood · Tags: , ,

This year during Lent I did something different – I focused on me.
Don’t worry, Jesus was part of the focus too. :) Actually I focused on me, as a wife & mother, and on my family and I thought about how I can better serve Jesus through my vocation. The past 2 years have been a bit of a fog and I got majorly side-tracked with an intense project that, while important and part of my vocation in a way, took me on me on a very unexpected detour in my plans for myself and our family and just life in general. Now that I have officially handed-over the reins to someone else, I’ve been trying to re-focus and get back to the basics.

In my thoughts about my vocation, I struggled with putting the what/who with the how. I understood my vocation is marriage and motherhood, more specifically as an “at-home-mom”, but I couldn’t quite remember how I was supposed to do this. At first I was getting hung up on all the details and was trying to micro-manage my days. This ends up being too stressful and thus inefficient since nothing ends up getting done if I’m too exhausted from trying to do too much or stick to a strict schedule.

As I was thinking through all this, I thought about how patterns and routines/cycles are evident in our natural world, in animals and even in our own bodies. Obviously God didn’t design me to live chaotically. He has a purpose for me and He wants me to serve Him in a rhythmic and orderly way. With this, I decided that establishing daily routines would be a good way to re-set a good rhythm to our days/weeks and lives and hopefully carry out my vocation better, keeping in mind that our routines/rhythm will change according to the different seasons of our family life (ie. pregnancy, post-partum/newborn, toddler years, older kid years, school-time, etc).

After I figured this out (or remembered it again), and as part of my Easter resolutions, I wrote down the basic parts of my vocation that I need to focus on - Marriage/Family, Faith, Home and Self – and then I assigned the times in my weeks and days I hope to focus on each of these. For example, on Mondays and Tuesdays I work on the laundry. Tuesdays and Thursdays I focus on housecleaning or other projects around the house and with the kids. Wednesdays and Fridays are usually days I get to daily Mass and then go out and about doing errands or activities with the kids, on my own or with friends.

Once I had those basics plotted out for the week, I was able to narrow down our daily routine a bit better. For each day, I started with the basics: Wake up, clean-up/get dressed, eat, rest. There are days when that is really all I’m able to accomplish and I know more days like that are to come as I get further along in the pregnancy and after the baby is born; except my days will probably only consist of eating/feeding and mabye a little bit of rest and personal hygiene when I’m lucky.

After the basics were jotted down for the daily “routine”, I filled in the time gaps from my list of other general goals for the week such as exercising, special learning/school activities with the kids or other special projects I’d like to work on. Every morning I sit down and look over my “routine” for the day and then I type in specific goals/to-dos for each day in my phone’s notepad. I go through and put a fun smiley face next to each one I accomplish; a small thing that provides me with an insane amount of nerdy joy. :)

I’ve been working on this new routine for the past few weeks. This has really helped give my life more direction each day, which is something I was desperately needing. I can tell it has helped with my relationships with the kids and husband also since I’m able to give them the attention they deserve better while still taking care of the house and myself. It hasn’t been perfect and we’ve had several interruptions but at least I have a better idea of where I am going  and how I am supposed to get there again.

How do you establish and maintain a good rhythm and routine in your days?


All I need is just a little patience

30. March 2012 · 4 comments · Categories: faith, Marriage, motherhood · Tags: , ,

If I had a dollar for every time I’ve prayed for more patience, I’d be one rich lady by now. Hopefully I’ve at least accrued a substantial lump of grace and time off in purgatory for my patience prayers.

It seems I’m not the only one desperately calling out prayers for more patience. Praying for patience is the “in” thing to do, you know. So if you’re ever in a situation where you have to offer up a prayer intention in a group, just pray for patience and you’ll get many knowing nods from everyone, especially if you are with a bunch of moms or dads.

This is because being a mother or father, dealing with a child or a whole gaggle of children day in and day out can really wear us down. Yes, yes, we love our kids but when they aren’t all sweet and cute they can act incredibly obnoxious, stubborn, and just plain annoying. They have selective-hearing and like to hear you say the same thing over and over…and over again throughout the day. Or they just plain don’t hear you, except of course when it comes to certain sounds like that of a candy bar being ever so quietly unwrapped in the bathroom or master bedroom closet. The phrases, “Come here!”, “Right now!” and “[Please] Stop!” either bear absolutely no significance to them or inspire dyslexic responses instead. I used to think Bill Cosby was joking about the whole “brain damage” thing but the older our kids get the more my husband and I understand how serious he was.

These moments are incredibly frustrating and cause all sorts of interesting face contortions and noises to come from our mouths, and sometimes ears & noses. (Again, Bill Cosby is a hilarious genius on that point as well.) If you and your kids are lucky all those inner convulsions you are trying to repress will force you down to your knees in supplication rather than send you into toddler-tantrum-like conniptions in front of your children (or husband).

Parenting is hard but you don’t have to have children or even work with children to feel impatient from time to time. Working with a bunch of adults all day in one little box with no windows can conjure up similar feelings and reactions. Even those who pray for patience 100 times a day get to a breaking point sooner or later.  (Although we’ve probably all been warned that praying for more patience will only create more opportunities to “practice” it.) One of the hardest things about patience is the waiting. Waiting for a child to listen and obey, waiting for a boss or co-worker to respond to your email(s), waiting for God to send some sort of answer, anything, in response to a situation or problem you’re dealing with, waiting for people (or God even) to do what we want them to do and on our time table.  

I often tell my kids that being patient means waiting nicely for me. Wikipedia defines patience as,

The state of endurance under difficult circumstances, which can mean persevering in the face of delay or provocation without acting on annoyance/anger in a negative way; or exhibiting forbearance when under strain, especially when faced with longer-term difficulties. Patience is the level of endurance one can take before negativity. It is also used to refer to the character trait of being steadfast.

Similarly the Catholic definition of patience defines it as,

A form of the moral virtue of fortitude. It enables one to endure present evils without sadness or resentment in conformity with the will of God. Patience is mainly concerned with bearing the evils caused by another. The three grades of patience are: to bear difficulties without interior complaint, to use hardships to make progress in virtue, and even to desire the cross and afflictions out of love for God and accept them with spiritual joy. (Etym. Latin patientia, patience, endurance; from patiens, suffering.)

Reflecting more on that definition makes me blush and hang my head down in shame. While I’m staring down at the ground, I realize that patience is essentially about HUMILITY.

When things aren’t going our way or when people are not acting in the way we would like them to, it takes a lot of humility to pause, and realize that we are not the center of universe.  We have to remember the other person and think not only about ourselves. When our kids, coworkers, and fellow human beings that we share our lives with won’t listen to us and do what we say or what we want them to do, we have to take a step out of ourselves and try and see things from their perspective. This doesn’t always mean we have to change what we are asking or expecting of someone if it is something good and important (like not crossing 4 lanes of oncoming traffic alone). Being humble will allow us to be patient and bear these frustrating times peacefully while we either wait for an answer or response, or, the hardest thing, change ourselves or “accept what we cannot change.”

In those moments of extreme frustration and impatience we can not only ask God for “more patience, please!” but maybe a slice of humble pie to go along with it also.

 


Children point us to LOVE

14. February 2012 · 2 comments · Categories: babies, Marriage, motherhood · Tags:

I stumbled upon an old journal entry from way back in 2005 when our dear daughter was just under 2 years old. I thought I would share it today on the day everyone celebrates “Love” in a special way.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

            She rolls onto her back and stretches her long slender body out over the couch cushions.  Her chest moves up and down as she floats on the waves in the ocean of dreamland. 

            Her hair, a perfect mix between her blond-haired daddy and her dark brown-haired mommy, cascades all around her.  How amazing to think that at one time she was just a bit bigger than the size of her head!

            I think about the things she does and says now. I wish I could see into her mind-for I know it is a beautiful and intelligent one! At times, I see the light bulb in her mind and suddenly, in an instant, she understands a word or a gesture in its completeness.

            She dances, claps, marches, and spins in beats and rhythms, all her own.  She sees the music playing before her and sees the dance.   In gymnastics her limber legs stretch and jump. Her feet move as her arms and body guide her in balance and her strong arms bring out the monkey in her, swinging and hanging on the branches of her imagination. 

            Piles of dishes, loads of laundry, reading and emails await me, not to mention a few hours of sleep before it all begins again and oh yes-I suppose we should eat some time!  Yet, in that moment, I see her lying there, and stop to kneel down beside her and gaze.  I feel as though I am not only keeping vigilance over my daughter, my jewel.  I am invited into a glimpse of Love, in one of the best forms.  Like on a cloudy day, when the sun sneaks a peek through the clouds, I am granted slivers of Christ peeking through the eyes of my daughter.  Love, begins so small, microscopic in fact.  Yet, in that small and seemingly non-existent beginning, lays the truth about Love, and His unfathomable significance.  

            My mind goes to the thought of a seed and the plant it becomes.  While the plant is beautiful and tremendous, would it not be for the seed-no such wonder would prevail.  One small seed holds the power and potential for something quite kinetic and extraordinary.  In the same way, the eggs that a woman carries, together with the gift of the man’s sperm, work in such a beautiful harmony, together with the work of God, to create a signature masterpiece, made by all three.  But it is not the labor alone that sells the artwork-it is the impression it imprints upon the souls of those who gaze upon it that advocates its beauty.


Foot in mouth on infertility

18. August 2011 · 2 comments · Categories: faith, Marriage, motherhood

This post by Farmer’s City Wife was a VERY humbling post to read about infertility. To all those who have suffered or do suffer from infertility–I really AM praying for you and am truly sorry if in trying to be helpful I’ve actually been insensitive or hurtful. It’s worth the read and the comments following are even more worth it. As I said there, this topic is awkward for those suffering from infertility and for those who have friends or family suffering from it. No one quite knows what to say without making the other feel bad. I still find it important to share information about infertility treatment options that people may not know about, especially ones that do not involve compromising our ethics or our dignity (or that of any innocent human beings).  Yet posts like Farmer’s City Wife are good reminders (for me anyway!) to share these pieces of information with L.O.V.E (Listen, Offer, Validate, Encourage) and patience and kindness as best as we can; knowing that we will fail from time to time and hoping God will reuse our failings for his GOOD anyway.

 


Home–where Learning becomes Real

16. August 2011 · 3 comments · Categories: Around the House, faith, Marriage, motherhood · Tags: , ,

Speaking of school time, I shared a few thoughts on the eve of back to school here at CatholicMom.com today…

How are other moms feeling about the return to school or homeschooling (if you took a break)?


Continued Humanae Vitae; Sex, Life and Artificial Birth Regulation

30. July 2011 · Write a comment · Categories: faith, Marriage · Tags: , , ,

Continued from Monday’s post, here are the rest of the the parts I highlighed while reading Humanae Vitae; Encyclical Letter of His Holiness Pope Paul VI.

Continued from Serious Consequences of Using Artificial Birth Regulation

-Consequently, if one does not want to see the mission of generating life exposed to the arbitrary decisions of men, one must of necessity recognize certain absolute limits to the possibility of a human beings’ dominion over his or her body and its functions, limits that no one, whether a private individual or someone invested with authority has any right to exceed. And such limits cannot be determined except by the respect owed to the integrity of the human organism* [*to the whole human body]…

The Church, Guarantor of Authentic Human Values

- One can foresee that this teaching will perhaps not be easily received by all: too numerous are the voices – amplified by today’s communications media – which disagree with the voice of the Church…yet she does not, because of this, cease to proclaim with humble firmness the entire moral law, both the natural law and the law of the Gospel. The Church was not the author of the moral law and therefore cannot be its arbiter; she is only its depository and its interpreter, and can never declare to be permissible that which is not so by reason of its intimate and unchangeable opposition to the true good of man.

III. Pastoral Directives

Possibility of Observing the Divine Law

- The teaching of the Church on birth regulation, which is a promulgation of the diving law, will easily appear to many to be difficult or even impossible to put into practice. And certainly, like all great and beneficial realities, it calls for serious commitment and many efforts on the part of individuals, of families and of society. Moreover, it would not be livable without the help of God, who supports and strengthens the good will of men.

Mastery of Self

- A proper practice of birth regulation requires first and foremost that a husband and wife acquire and possess solid convictions about the authentic values of life and of the family, and that they tend to the achievement of perfect self-mastery.

Creating an Environment Favorable to Chastity

- Whatever in the communications media today leads to overstimulation of the senses, to the loosening of morals, as well as every form of pornography and licentious performance, must provoke the open and unanimous reactions of all person who are deeply concerned about the progress of civilization and the defense of the highest values of the human spirit. It is futile to allege artistic or scientific needs as justification for such depravity, or to deduce an argument in their favor from the freedom allowed in this sector by public authorities.

Appeal to Public Authorities

- To those who govern in civil society and who are principally responsible for the common good, and can do so much to safeguard morality…

- We are well aware of the serious difficulties experienced by public authorities in this regard, especially in developing countries…”These difficulties are not to be overcome by having recourse to methods and means that are unworthy of man and that are based solely on a purely materialistic concept of man himself and of his life. The true solution is found only in economic development and social progress that respects and promote authentic individual and social human values.”

To Men of Science

- We now wish to express our encouragement to men of science, who “can contribute much for the benefit of marriage and the family and for the peace of consciences, if by uniting their effort they seek to shed more light on the various conditions that make possible a proper regulation of human procreation.”

Apostolate of Couples

- Among the fruits that result from a generous effort of fidelity to the divine law, one of the most precious is that married couples themselves not infrequently feel the desire to communicate their experience to others. Thus a new and most noteworthy from of the apostolate of like-to-like comes to be included in the vast field of the vocation of the laity: it is married couples themselves who become apostles and guides to other married couples. Among so many forms of apostolate, this is assuredly one of those that seem more opportune today.

To Priests

- We now turn to you with confidence. Your first task – especially in the case of those who teach moral theology – is to expound without ambiguity the Church’s teaching on marriage. Be the first to give, in the exercise of your ministry, the example of loyal internal and external submission the Magisterium of the Church…

- But this must ever be accompanied by patience and goodness, such as the Lord himself gave the example of in dealing with men. Having come not to condemn but to save he was indeed intransigent with evil, but merciful toward individuals.

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