Time to look.
One line.
Whew…
A little sad…
Wait.
What’s that?
A second line?
Could it be?
Is it?
Yup.
A little faint.
Definitely there, though.
Eternity passes through me.
A lump forms in my throat.
A flood of thoughts and feelings gushes into my heart and sets it beating.
My hands hug my abdomen, my mind sees the tiny baby who has been hiding there.
I look at my two-year old; my baby.
And suddenly see how big he is.
I think of how hard it’s been with him, how much he has rocked our little world.
How much I love him…
and my other two.
I think of “morning” sickeness, fatigue, ligament pain, back pain…pain and discomfort.
Ug.
I think of sleepless nights, especially since the two-year old has been driving us ‘insane’ with his sleepless night-time shenanigans.
The lump grows and rises up through my throat.
A sob breaks forth.
Tears…
Overwhelmed by the tremendous GIFT
that God has honored and humbled us with for the fourth time.
Doubt…
turns into TRUST…
Trust turns into PEACE…
Peace turns into LOVE.
Love this! I can so relate to your feelings too. I get so sick with pregnancy and I’ve had 3 extremely colicky babies. And Molly still gives us 2-3 wakes/fits per night. To say that I’m slightly terrified of having the 4th in a few weeks is an understatement! But I know I’ll survive… and you will too 🙂
Praying your 4th brings balance like ours did 🙂
Wow… Great posts. Made me cry. That’s exactly what I go through with each pregnancy test.