I love Rik’s Response: On life support, maybe. But not dead. Actually, I think we’re starting to see the pendulum swing back toward the ideas of chivalry, respect, and honor. A lot of young people coming up today have seen—at much younger ages than previous generations in some cases—the massive and deep wreckage that has been created by a careless, self-centered, non-committal, and immediate-gratification-obsessed approach to romance. The sad thing is to me that a lot of these kids are being forced to discover alternatives to the status quo on their own; what I mean is, they were never even taught that there was a better way. But, through experience, they’ve realized that there simply has to be a better way… something more precious and substantial than they have known must be out there… somewhere.

And that’s sad to me because it seems as if, sometimes, those who know better are reticent to speak up or offer any guidance at all out of fear of appearing judgmental or trying to tell others how to live or looking out of touch with the times. No one has to listen, you know? Those who want to laugh or turn away, will. And those that want to mock the idea of seeking and striving to honor God in our romantic lives… well, they will. Let them. There are worse things in life than ending up a punchline on The Daily Show. For example, having a young guy or girl whose life has been needlessly damaged or waylaid because you had the chance to offer a way out… but were afraid to. That would be worse.

Again, Rik’s suggestions are simple: Like many things in life, I’d say… lead by example. More than anything, they will pick up on what they see in the home. And this goes for daughters as well as sons, of course.

The idea of “chivalry” goes far beyond romance, even though that’s the primary angle in OLD FASHIONED. It’s an approach to life… one that focuses on the ideals of courage, honor, courtesy, and justice (among other things). It’s a very specific approach on how we treat others… and not just those from whom we want or desire something. All people.

Children are very observant. They quickly pick up how we treat not only our spouses, but also teachers or restaurant servers or bosses or employees or those of different races or social classes. It all registers with kids. Now granted, parents are competing with a relentless tidal wave of media that is offering up a wildly different set of values and that’s no easy thing. So, I would never stake a claim that any of this is a cake-walk.

But… it really does come down to us. It only takes one person who’s had enough and is willing to do the hard work or rewiring his or her own thoughts to live differently… and some kid, somewhere, will be watching that one person… and learning.