Joining Lisa-Jo’s Five Minute Friday today with the word prompt: Writer
I’ve wanted to be so many things
But never did I think – I want to be a writer.
I loved writing, journaled every day since I got my first diary in 2nd grade with a lock to which only I had the key for.
I speak writing, I breathe writing, I pray writing.
But never did I think of myself as a writer.
I’ve loved reading, devouring books left and right since I can remember.
Books have been my bestest friends, there for me when I’ve been bored, anxious, sad, depressed…searching.
Writers have inspired me, comforted me, helped me laugh, cry, and think.
Writers have shown me truths, given me questions to ponder and words to chew on and try to digest for days and even years later.
THE Writer has given me the greatest gifts of all – Love, peace, answers, Truth.
So when my college English 101 teacher kept prodding me to change or add my major to English (with Spanish) I just laughed.
I loved writing, but me? A writer? I couldn’t be.
And here I am. Years later…writing.
Dreaming and painting majestic stories in my mind, trying to find a way to transfer those images into words to paper…to you.
Wait, I need just five more minutes, please?!
I thought only smart people with fancy degrees, PhD’s and other random letter arrangements after their names could be writers.
That’s not me, the only thing attached to me is my kids. I couldn’t tell you how to diagram a sentence, when to use a semicolon and I still have look up if it’s “dessert” or “desert” or “effect” or “affect”. Every. Time. And I still don’t get it.
I am afraid. I’m no good. Not funny enough, prophetic or deep. I’m just a simple mama, wife, and woman. Finding the perfect word for that one thing that starts with that one letter and means that one thing about how I’m feeling right now – it’s like trying to pass a kidney stone or sometimes like birthing a baby. And sometimes I labor and hmmph and moan and grunt and it still doesn’t come out. There are so many words that I feel that do not exist yet or ever could.
But I can’t help but write. I have to write. It’s my canvas and my medium all in one. I breathe writing, I think writing. I can’t NOT write. If I don’t get it out, I’m going to explode. There are little things that bring me more joy than releasing the jumble of words and fragmented images from my mind onto a fresh sheet of paper or the mad-woman tapping on my keyboard onto the computer screen. It’s exhilarating, heart-beating…adrenaline for my soul. Writing releases me, lets me sour through the skies of my imagination, it comforts and heals my wounds, shines light on my joys, gives life to my soul.
I enjoy it. Even though I don’t have time…attention or much energy for it most days. But if I am a writer, I want to do it for YOU. To encourage you, help you smile, breath a little easier…maybe even laugh (out loud!) every now and then, pray…give you support in your day…help you know you are not alone. He is “with us”. I am here, like you, with you, struggling, gasping, step by step. We are together, and we’ll get through it together.
This is why.
I am a writer.
Ok now really stop.
Photo courtesy: Benjamin Von Wong via Flickr CC
Do you love writing or just need five minutes to release your thoughts? Try this Five Minute Friday, it’s 5 minutes of sanity in your otherwise chaotic day.
Also, be sure to check out Lisa’s newly released book – Surprised by Motherhood: Everything I Never Expected about Being a Mom. I am devouring it and loving it the whole way through. You’d love it too I’m sure.