Crazy Mom Falls Out of Minivan and Proceeds to Punch an Empty Seat

Random / Monday, October 6th, 2014

Have you been reading all my blog posts lately? No? Oh that’s because you can’t read my mind! No worries, I’m going to do a little brain dump over the next few days/weeks so you can catch up on all the random half-written and fragmented thoughts and ideas bouncing around in my brain.

We’ll start this brain dump extravaganza with a funny story. That way if you don’t read any of the posts to come, you’ll at least have had a good laugh for today.

Last week, while out shopping for cake items for my son’s 5th birthday party, the toddler decided it would be the perfect time to…er…make his own little gift for me…in his diaper. The store we were at did not have a diaper changing station in the restroom – it’s like they didn’t want stinky diapers filling up the store or something? Go figure.

Anyway, so I picked our only other option – the minivan/diaper changing room in the parking lot trick. How is that the minivan makers haven’t thought to put in a slide-out changing table yet? And a sound-proof screen that goes up between the driver and the passengers in the back?

Pardon me, I digress again. While the toddler gleefully roamed around the van, I set-up the back seat as a makeshift changing table, spreading a blanket across the seat followed by the changing pad my diaper bag came with. I even thought of using the seat belt as a restraint for my wiggly toddler who seemed to have a goal of making this as messy and challenging as possible.

When it was finally all wiped and done and the toddler was securely constrained in his car seat once again – much to his dismay – I went to put the seat by the van door back up since I had folded it down for easy access to the back seat. It wouldn’t budge. I pulled and pulled on the lever but it was stuck.

Finally, after a few more vain attempts to get it back up, I opened the van door and had to stradle over the top of the folded seat very awardly, making it so the first part of me to come out of the van was my big derriere, followed by my stumbling booted-feet, and finally the rest of me wobbled out and almost fell over but the car next to me saved me. I regained my balance and then proceeded to try and lift the seat back up from the outside of the van now and it still didn’t want to move!

I needed to get this thing back up before picking up kids from school so we could avoid adding any more stress to the school pick-up time. So I’m pulling and pulling, grunting and “muttering” and slamming my hand on the seat in frustration until – finally, with a loud click – the chair bounced back up into it’s original seated position as if it had been like that the whole time.

I let out a sigh of accomplished relief, dusted off my hands, closed the van door and turned around to go back to my driver’s seat. However, when I turned I saw there was a kind-looking older lady standing there with a slightly amused smile on her face. Apparently she had been there, not sure for just how long, waiting for me to finish so that she could get into her car parked next to mine.

I sheepishly apologized and said something about hoping she enjoyed the show and laughed my embarrassed chuckle laugh and then quickly hopped back into the privacy of my minivan, wondering just how much she had witnessed and heard. Oh well, I hope I provided her, and anyone else watching the circus show, with a good laugh for her day.

Stay tuned for more fun and random posts from my my great Brain Dump. Here are a few teasers for the randomness to come:

  • Bug candy and dirt cakes
  • Boots, scarves and accessories – my simple Fall Fashion Plan
  • A House in the Sky, NPR show and thoughts on extreme Islamists (I might chicken out on that one)
  • Craft Idea – yes another one that I might actually attempt…maybe
  • Lessons from an Impromptu Homeschool Day
  • Real Facebook conversations
  • My Awesome New Kid-Proof Heavy Duty Water Bottle – exciting, I know.
  • And maybe sometime down the road – Anxiety Attacks – How to Stay “In Your Window”

If you don’t hear from me within a week, I give you permission to harass me to stay true to my promise of delivering at least one of these potential brain dump topics here.

3 Replies to “Crazy Mom Falls Out of Minivan and Proceeds to Punch an Empty Seat”

  1. I’m putting together a postpartum gift for a friend and wanted to send her a water bottle–open one-handed, closes when not in use so the 14 month old can’t soak herself…does your awesome water bottle fit the bill? I want to know!!

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